To Attach or Detach…..that is the question…NOT

Well…..after a thorough discussion with my well educated friend, it has been determined that baby Diamond died of hypothermia. Could have been prevented, but there it is. If I’d had the pen there sooner, they wouldn’t have been separated. I gotta live with that. And I shall. Got more babies coming. I tell the goats and the pups and the horses….thank you for coming. I told baby Diamond too. I tell them that all the time, and it is my honest opinion based on their eye response and face response and neck response….you know…body posture stuff that they understand and really appreciate that being said to them. Most people consider them close to inanimate….not there, but close. You know…lower. Well, even I control my dog and I apologize to him all the time, but he seems to be here to please me, as are the pups. Don’t know about the rest, but them I do. That’s my theory. Their eyes light up! Thank you for coming to be with me. Yes.

I just re-read that last paragraph….something I rarely do. I giggle. I like it, so I giggle that I just took a death subject and turned it into a discussion with my dog. Sometimes I amaze myself. Sometimes…I love my own writing. Honestly and truly. I’m probably not supposed to say that, but I’d rather be honest. And sometimes…I hate it. Ha….that’s usually when y’all love it. Go figure. Jesse is on his way down to watch Men in Black 3. Wish he’d chosen the 8pm version but oh well….I’ll stay up, always do. I’ve come to a conclusion…ha, once again…I need lotsa repeats on some things…..that special high grade marijuana is NOT for me. The thing is…when I smoke the GOOD stuff…I have a high…..and then I come down. I hate, friggin hate, comin down. When I smoke what I call mid grade and Jesse calls dirt yuk weed, well, not in those words……I have an even balance. I like balance. Even keel. Like I said…for me, it’s about turning the radio station to the fuzzy channel. From pain channel to not so clear. Lemme tell ya people……not so clear is sooooooooo much better than the pain. Or the nausea. Can’t help myself talking about it now that it’s a common discussion these days. I used to live in fear of even speaking about it. Let me tell you about one of my last pot buy encounters. Ha! I can’t reach my normal person so I’m given the number of another. I’ve heard of this person…it’s a small town. I drive past the house cuz I didn’t see it at first, then I was like, oh, was that it? So I drove by again. I see people in the yard. So I turn around and go back the other way. Finally I come back to it and drive down the drive. I get out and there’s this lady and a bunch of kids. She says what do you need? I said, I’m lookin for so and so. What do you need? pot. I’m lookin for pot. I had to say it right there in front of those kids. Lady stands up and starts yelling saying there ain’t no pot here!!!! So out we rush….Jesse maybe, dunno. Scary and humiliating and just downright awful that I had to say that in front of those children. That night I get a phone call. It was THE LADY!!! Hey, now that I know who you are, you scared us with all that driving back and forth crap….what do you need? Imagine that. They were probably laughing at me. I never did buy from her. Just one example of how hinky it is to have to buy it.

OK…..time for the movie. Where’s the popcorn? Oh ya….chocolate chip cookies soft batch…ooooh, I get to see the bad ingredient name and look it up….Remember the other one was for Pecan Sandies. Nope….same chemical as the sandies. Maybe tomorrow night I’ll make the cookiereesesbrownie thing. Hmmm, Jesse says I have the mentality of….…walking around with an umbrella waitin for it to rain. Not so sure I agree with that. Is that what I do? Arrrgh….the ups and downs. We’re on an up at the moment. Fair to midlin. It is what it is. It’s all equal. Live and let live. Medium. Good enough. Do-able. Oh goodness…it’s 1:44am and the movie is over. Night night, I’ll talk to ya tomorrow. I deleted the part of smelling the gas from the tanks but the smell is still there. Night.

Was up at the house this morning weighing fiber for mailing out. Lotsa walk backs to check a doe who is digging. Watched a movie with hubby since I’m never there anymore. Poor Oprah….was such a good mommy to that little Diamond. Today, she is totally checkin out little Petunia. Everytime that baby comes near, she sniffs and sniffs. Someone posted a photo of a baby alpaca that had miscarried. It was 9 of 14 months gestation and had no hair. Very sad but beautiful photo. I said…it’s always hard. He says….no, it’s not hard since I get no income from them. I said….I meant human losing an animal, not human losing money source. He says….I don’t get attached. It’s not a loss. That bumfuzzles my brain people. No emotions when it comes to the animals? Maybe something’s off about me? I get VERY attached, even to the ones still in the womb. I love them all dearly. Too dearly maybe? I dunno…..I’d rather have the LOVE in my heart for these animals than be cold and detached. I really wouldn’t want to live that way, so I’m really truly glad I AM who I AM.

Once upon a time, Cathy’s preacher husband had a lawn mower he was trying to get started. Used to drive me nuts. Every weekend, and even sometimes during the week, I would hear this pop pop pop and be so aggravated……realize it’s broken already dude!!!! A year later I was fixin to bust. Finally I could be silent no longer and I told Cathy to tell her hubby to quit for Gods sakes. She said, huh? He hasn’t been workin on that? After we discussed it….we both realized it was the soldier war games from Camp Swift. Well, they are playing again today. Woke me up and still going at 2:34pm. Can you imagine….listening to machine guns go off all day? Creepy. Speaking of that…..apparently the boom sounds we’ve been hearing is seismic activity. In other words……some company is paying people out here on my road, per acre to blow up stuff…..to look for either oil or gas, not sure. I hear it contaminated one farms water spring and is no longer drinkable. Is this fracking? Dunno. They are to have a BBQ to discuss it and even though they haven’t approached us….I intend to go, to have my voice heard. Not sure what the people will do, with the economy so bad, they may need the money badly. May not be able to talk them out of it. I shall try by George. These springs are connected to my springs and we need the dang water!!!

Well, I’ve spent most of the day watching a doe get up and down and paw the ground. Digging. Then, at feeding time….what does she do? She eats. Oi ve. These girls are bound and determined to keep me guessing till the bitter end. And yearling Pearl, is small enough now without a coat, to fit out the gate like the babies do. Not the plan. The idea was for the babies to have a safe zone to eat grain without getting head butted. Not happening now. I may just move her and a few others that will go into the experiment in April. The spring breeding experiment. I’ll just go ahead and move some of them now to a holding pen, that way the babies can eat in peace for a bit of their life without having to fight for it. Anyway….still watching and waiting…..and very attached to these exquisite creatures. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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2 thoughts on “To Attach or Detach…..that is the question…NOT

  1. Just love your pictures the faces and the butts!!!
    I have been in some Oh so dodgy situations in the past. SR is soooo easy

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