So, I’m chatting with a friend and she tells me she is trying to buy fiber from someone. I had a twinge. A twinge of jealousy, of disbelief. What? Why wouldn’t she want to buy any of MY fiber? For about 10 minutes, we discussed other things. Then I did something I’ve never ever done before. Instead of wondering, belittling myself, feeling yukky……I said, hey…..there’s an elephant in the room and I hate those. Why did you want to buy her fiber instead of mine? The simple answer was…she saw a photo of this fiber and fell in love. Happens to all us fiberholics. And I understood. Do you see how monumental this is? It required a bravery I never before possessed. I AM healing, growing and striving as a human. On a constant quest to better myself….in the ways that I think are better, not the worlds view of better.
There’s another thing I did too. Quite unlike me, but my money situation is grim at the moment. I’m sending her a gift of pinto curls, and I asked if she could cover the shipping. Yup….I’m working on getting that sales bone working. I tend to just give things away. But I hadn’t the money to cover the shipping….wala….I got my courage up and asked. Of course she didn’t mind. I am getting there people. I recently sent 3 purple bags for free, and I paid the shipping. We’re just talking crown royal bags, but you get the point. This IS an evolution. I AM evolving. I used to think I was the only person that would like the things I created. That hat business the other day was so good for me. To see them wearing them? To hear the guy say…no, he didn’t want a new one….he loved the one he had…just give me a liner please. That, people…….was music to my soul. And as we all know….my soul likes to dance. What is dance….without music?
In case I wasn’t clear about why the hat needed a liner…..that particular hat was made with mill waste, mohair and wool. The mill waste I used to buy cuz it was cheap….nobody wanted it and if you got the right bag….was an awesome get. I guess not every bit was soft. I was new at this back then….and didn’t even know the differences in softness…let alone what a guard hair was. I was so naïve back then and I miss it. I miss the creativity I had before knowledge cloudied up the landscape of my brain. (not a typo) I was so free. I intend to recapture that. I already have been starting, with this stuff I’m spinning. It’s so different from what I’m used to spinning and the freedom I’m allowed with this project, these yarns….is so dang exciting. I think I shall carry it through to other things as well. I saw a photo today of a hat…somewhat along the lines of what my plans are….and it tripped me up for a second….but hey…..mine will not look the same. Mine will be unique….like me. Only I have these sets of yarns, this strange but lovely brain, and this limited amount of knowledge, but a heart full of will. I just have to keep telling myself….I can do anything I want. If I want to sew yarn….I can sew yarn. Who said you can’t sew yarn? Ha….silly I know. But I did feel silly when I tried it. Like the world was watching me and frowning. It’s a freedom thing. I can drape this, twingle that….add a dash of whoop and a smidge of ahhh. I can make things separately and add them on!!! I can combine yarns and colors. I can mix things up. I can make something all one color…then add splash, or I can make splash and add calm. I can puff things up, roll things up, squeeze things up, felt them, twirl them, braid them, crochet them, sew them, knit them, tangle them, drape them, hang them, combine them and be free. I owe much of this……to the wonderful lady I did NOT know, named Janice Rosena. ??????(((((())))))) I’ve been seeing her belongings auctioned off and as I see each one…..it unlocks a door for me. I also saw a hat today that unlocked another door…….made by Amber Churchhill. Catalysts of change…of light. Also my friend who requested this secret project I’m working on…that requires the color ….copper. She also blew wind beneath my wings.
MY son messaged me asking if I had chocolate chip cookies down here. Nope, pecan sandies. He was sad. Needed a chocolate fix so I told him to make something…cookies, brownies…whatever. But….we don’t have any stuff to make those….lol……I’ll be up to the house in a minute. Needless to say……I helped him make some brownies. Then he brought half the pan down so we could eat while watching his new favorite tv show……the Mac Miller Show…about a rapper. Thing is….I ended up eating ¾ of it!!!! For goodness sakes it was ridiculous. It wasn’t such a fun baking experience for Jesse cuz I’m always stressed and he said it comes off like it’s a burden. Nah….just thinking so dang hard. About everything…the state of the kitchen….the notifications on FB, the order of ingredients, the goats are in labor? No…but everytime I’m away from here, I think they are. About 12 other items also going through my brain as well. Not finding a good balance yet. On that note….it is 1:20am = 3 = holy. Nightie night night and good sweetness of dreams.
Oh how cool. I just saw a squirrel go through all these shenanigans up and over and down then up and across a tree limb, onto the fence rail and over to the girls water trough where he is taking a nice long drink. Speaking of that, I haven’t seen Polly pigeon for a few days. I keep calling her but don’t know where she is. She was living on my porch….in the eaves. I probably need to keep my mouth shut about the new Pope, although this guy sounds like a great choice. I was born a catholic, so I feel a right to say this. Pomp and circumstance for the religion and the men of that religion….who have grabbed and hidden anything and everything that might discount their views. Any healing modality…not attributed to their God….is squished and hidden. Anything…not supporting their agenda….is stashed away in the Vatican and the very best thing this new Pope can do….besides make new HARSH punishments for perverted priests, etc………would be to release the hidden. Let the people decide what to believe. That would be the kind thing to do. Since this guy lives simply and basically poor…….he could be the one to do just that. Let’s hope. And the more I hear about him, the better he sounds. Come on….be all that you can be Pope Francis.
Milly was laying in a way that looked like she was in trouble. No response to my calls. Went in to see and had to life her head, she was so out of it. Heavy breathing and sounds again. I lifted her tail and her hooch was swollen and large with discharge inside. Scared the tar outta me. Finally I decided it was her mucus plug. She is so miserable that I fed early in case that would give her energy to deliver. 2 hours early. Sang to her a made up song while I sat with her. Recorded a portion of it. Also recorded a scene with little Heaven, in my arms…..sniffing and kissing my face…just like Kya used to do. The sun was blaring at us and the video isn’t perfect but it’s cute. When I’m looking in the camera, I’m basically sayin…..can you believe this? Isn’t it sweet? Milly’s being feisty, moving anyone in her space….wherever she is…her space…which she had NOT been doing cuz she was in a new pen. Well….this blog is long. Better end it. Here’s to hoping we get some twins today. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch……pretty sure it will be tonight. stay tuned…and it looks like Yazhi as well, saw some blood….YeeHaw!!!!..