I need an END to the Waiting……!!!

I’m curious about the idea that nearly all movies…have a happy ending. Life doesn’t always have happy endings….maybe this is some desperate attempt at keeping things sane and same. It’s as if there’s a movie czar who makes sure that all movies have that happy ending. Who pays this dude? Hope it’s not tax dollars. I guess they think we need to feel like everything’s gonna be ok….even when it’s not. I guess then that They, are no different than us. I find myself telling people…it’s gonna be ok…when the situation is dire. I have no idea if everything is gonna be ok or if I’m feeding them false hope. All I know is…at the moment…they usually need some hope. Should I be silent….cuz I don’t know the future? Maybe it’s not a lie if I truly feel it…..and I always do.

Thing is….endings in true life are typically Not Happy! Think about it…moving to another state, changing careers, relationship breakups, death…..these are all endings. Never easy and varying in degrees of sadness or anger. Definitely not happy, even if you are looking forward to the move, for example….it’s still sad to leave things, friends, your old life, behind. An ending. So who came up with this? It’s crazy. I guess movies are the escape clause in life. I know they take me away. Tonight I watched an animated penguin learn how to surf like a pro. It sucked me in like a vacuum and I was leaning forward with a smile on my face. Definitely an escape. I still however, don’t understand why everyone follows this code. Baffling.

When I got more koolaid the other day….I forgot the orange. I got all ready to go, added the water and vinegar to the roving….and crap. So I varied another’s suggestion but it didn’t work as intended. I have one more thing to try before sending my neighbor to town for some friggin orange koolaid! Don’t worry…none of this is wasted stuff…will be perfect on future projects. In fact….I can’t wait. I have to go try now. It’s not that late, only 11:30pm. Goin up to the house…she says as she watches the credits to….Overboard…Love that movie. Love that she finds herself, and her true self is not selfish and vain. Ok….up to the house. Cross your fingers. If I can leave this new movie, that is…..it’s called….To Save a Life…on GMC. Riveting, just in the first 5 minutes. Man, the wind is howling again….hope it don’t blow me away while I walk up there!!!! Going now. Ahhhh…failure. Well, not failure per say, but failure for this particular project. I know what I need now….just need to get it. I shall prevail!!!!!

This movie (To Save a Life….highly recommend))is about a guy changing. His friends don’t like him much after he changed and want him to go back to the old Jake. We can’t people! Once we change….we change…that simple. That final. That done. It’s happened to me and I bet it’s happened to you. What? We’re supposed to stay a blob of mud forever? I don’t think so. We are to evolve. With our thinking and most especially with our hearts. That involves changing, repeatedly. Insight after insight…day after day….we learn and grow and we change. One minute we may be going to bars and the next we may be changing diapers or tending goats….ha…or both in the case of bottle babies!!!! If my friends can’t shift with me….I’m so sorry Charlie. You may think your life is about other people…..cuz you try and make it so…but in the end….your life is about YOU. Not your husband, child, patients, friends, coworkers. It’s all YOU. When you realeyes that, you grow. Then….after you realeyes that, you also realeyes that you are them. You are everyone. You are pain, hopelessness, depression, fat, thin, ugly, pretty….human. You realeyes that we are indeed all one. All experiencing for the one, as the one. And if you know that…..it friggin shouldn’t matter if you meditate or not!!! Eh? Haha!!! She rules!!!

I think my friend Mea has it right. The goats won’t have their babies while they’re being watched. Honest to God……I know they are pregnant and I know the dates I put the boys in. Frustrating, but patience is something I have such a hard time with so I think it’s a lesson. It may not sound like it…but I really am learning to just chill with this situation. Just chill. Someday….there will be a moan, and I’ll be ready and watching and waiting…..for those babies to spill out of their mommies and make their first sound, as they struggle and crawl until they finally find their legs and they get the back ones up….but not the front ones. And they go splat. Eventually they make it up and they go toward mom, they end up sucking on her back leg. If it’s a proven mom, she will keep booting them back there till they figure it out. Eventually they latch on and you hear that magic suckle. That sound. Pure heaven. Mom then continues to clean them, by licking them all over, forgot that part……and getting the birth fluid off of them. She then lays down and takes a moment to rest, as she gently nudges the baby into her warmth. Yes….I’m ready. And yes…. I left a helluva lot out….but not bad for a simple paragraph. Night night sweetish ones. Sleep and dream as one. 1:09am = 1…….beginnings.

Up and washing fleece today. It takes forever. I really don’t know how all of you wash fiber in one or two soaks…..it takes 6-8 just to get the top dirt off. Fill the sinks, swish, it’s muddy, drain, repeat, drain repeat…muddy….repeat repeat repeat until you want to scream!!! Got that drying finally and am back in the Rv in this heat. What a wacko winter. All the layers are coming off me one by one. No layers left to remove. Had Jesse run the wires then I sheared Valey by myself. How is it possible that I used to shear 2-3 goats a day with scissors, which takes 2-3 hrs each…..but I get exhausted doing one yearling goat with clippers? Is it just the clippers? Or is something wrong with me? I sat down and apologized to Valey and told her I was just so tired. Then I cried. Then I finished her up. She was very agitated about me cutting her topknot, so I left it on…doesn’t get used anyway and they look so dang cute like that. Oh, and I said screw the garden dust. Bought some eprinex. Ya….after all, it is expensive. $40 worth didn’t even fill the clear ketchup bottle the whole way!!! But it works. Once you’ve experienced a no lice season…..you want it back.

I have to say….we truly are an accepting conglomeration family. Polly pigeon is now napping with Bert the peahen, on the porch. Bert lays on the skirting thing hubby made me but I don’t use, and Polly is on the grill, 4 ft away. They just lay there and chill out together. First time I saw that, and it truly amazes me. The birds have welcomed her, the pups are leaving her alone and I too, have welcomed her. We had a visitor last week who said oh no…need to get rid of her cuz other pigeons will come. I said, no way…she’s welcome here and she’s been here alone for weeks now. So, here it is officially……Welcome to the family, Polly Pigeon. Wish I was also welcoming some goat babies to the family today, but just think….at this point….all the babies will be a surprise!!! My mood is so sour now. Someone plugged everything up……except to the friggin house…you know, the electricity???? I sat here watching Tv and typing here for over an hour…..not knowing the Rv battery was draining and draining. Now I gotta find a way to get out of this anger. It’s touching everything! Ok….babies, babies, babies, babies, and babies. I’m calm now. Outta here folks. Signing off in a calm mood….from YeeHaw Ranch. Ps….Mea, yes, the cat is favoring the back right hind leg. Still not eating, but he jumped into my chair tonight when I was busy peeling taters and couldn’t pick him up. That’s good, eh???? LOVE.

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2 thoughts on “I need an END to the Waiting……!!!

  1. Love the pigeon and Valey’s new do. Love the babies playing together. What have you tried to get Wiz to eat? He needs to eat soon. Next time he is laying down like yesterdays picture, take a couple from the back and front. The one yesterday his back legs weren’t symmetrical, that is what clued me in. Babies coming soon, I just know it. I sheared two today. Put sweaters on them and one of the girls took her horn to it and ripped the side, Thinking I should go and give her a new sweater. Biggest hugs

    • Will do sweetie and thanks. Can only keep babies in sweaters here. They truly take them off and help each other. The pigeon is cool. I like her. Huggs

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

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