A fifty percent tax on an ounce of marijuana….is not a solution. Is not a win. If it makes it so expensive a person can’t buy it….then it’s worse than we have it now. It’s already pretty darn pricey. Let’s see. A carton of cigarettes last the average person about a week. An ounce of marijuana would also last the average person about a week. Here comes the problem. Carton cigarettes = $60…..ounce marijuana = $120….more or less. I’ve been in pain for days now….maybe even weeks. Not intense, thank goodness, although I was woken last night several times with some doozies. But regardless….marijuana is the ONLY thing that has ever helped me. The valiums help me to sleep through it when needed, but as a farmer, I can’t sleep just because I’m in pain.
I’ve lived with this extreme pain since I was a bitty girl child, 47 years ago when my Grammy would wrap my legs in hot towels after putting some nasty ointment on. I was about 4 or 5. I don’t remember it helping, I just remember crying. There is no red or green light that comes on and blinks to alert the world that I’m in agony. And even when I told…what could anyone do, but go on about their day? I pretty much keep it to myself these days. This is the medicine I was so frightened of not having the money to get. Almost more so than my daughter being stuck in another country!!! I was freakin with the two needs at the same time…well, 3 needs cuz Jesse’s birthday also coincided. Point is…..they keep saying tax it. Fine, tax it….but not that friggin high!!!! A $50 tax??????????? NOT! I got things to do and can’t do em if I’m laid up, cuz of no medicine.
Whatever you do is what shall be. Great quote from the movie….The Proposal, with Sandra Bullock and Betty White. Whatever you do is what shall be. I’ve been saying that forever here, but these are another set of words that mean the same thing. Love how that happens. It’s like confirmation in your belief. Not that I need it, but it’s just nice. What is it I say….whatever happens, is what was supposed to happen. Well ya….because it happened!!! Can’t avoid that! Sure, you can sit around and blame yourself or blame others for things that have happened….but ….they were supposed to happen….because they happened. It’s not such an easy pill to swallow, although it sure beats other pills, like……guilt, anger, or hatred. Take me for example. I lost Baby Hap because I waited too long between checks. Guilt? No, sure, I let myself feel it for a bit, then that’s enough. It happened, meant to be so no need for blame.
Holy shit….can I say that? I’m always telling people just google mamasheri, cuz I’ve seen people do it on my stat page under search engines. I think I tried it once to make sure….and I found me. Tonight, I said it again to someone who asked…and I decided to try again to make sure it worked. Top. Came up at the very top!!! That’s pretty cool, eh? This came up on a Native American post on FB, saying that they need more white folk as advocates. I said I talk about the issues some in my blog and someone said they wanted to read it. Ha…..guess I’d better tell you now that I’m no longer in fear of the Idle No More movement. My mind has been preoccupied with kidding without kids. But ya…..the more time goes by, the more they say it’s a movement for all. For all who agree that the earth needs to come first before it becomes a dustball. Or an iceage, or or or.
The girls are still eating the tree roots and haven’t yet discovered they are only a jump away from L freedom…..and all that really odd green green grass, in February. Nobody said anything about the photo so either you all didn’t quite catch it, or you were all repulsed. The baby was humping his mommy. It caught me so off guard….I mean, he’s how old? Almost 3 weeks….on Wednesday. Man, they practically come out ready!!!! Lol, poor Moonee….just wasn’t really up to it, but I guess he finally made a girlfriend in Tika. Today, I had the Littles out and Wy and Opti came up to their fence and Maya was sticking her nose through the fence….trying to get to Wy….like he was her boyfriend. Cute. Ha….still don’t know if she’s pregnant…but I thought I saw a possible bag today…will have to check.
Speaking of checking……tada…….the big news….. I asked Jess to hold Lily for me so I could hug her and feel above her udders for movement, like Mea suggested to help me feel better. Brilliant Mea!!! Violet is very much alive and moving around! Felt around 4-5 movements and kicks. Most gloriously awesome!!!! Coulda stayed there all day! Being pregnant was so very awesome for me. Something I ached for as just a little girl. Remember, my favorite book was Baby Island. So, when I got pregnant, I dreamed of wearing awesome flowing tunics…but wore stupid maternity wear. That was the times….for poor folk. But I loved it with all of me…..every kick, every turn, every butt sticking up in the air, and even every bodypart under my ribs, painful though that may be. So….you can imagine how it feels for me to have felt the baby! God, what a relief off my heart. I didn’t hurt anything in my attempt to help her the other night. Yay oh yay. Bless you Mea!!!! You know…that’s the First time that’s ever worked?!!! I should try it again….say, with Maya! Nightie night and sweet Violet Flame dreams, my friends. See ya tomorrow. 1:40 = 5 = change.
Goodness. I woke this morning to a friend who was in devastation mode. Her dear dear goat was found dead this morning after an illness that she thought was solved. Gosh, it’s always so hard when we lose them. Especially the special ones….and it was very obvious to all that to this lady….this goat was a dear friend. One of the special ones. Yes, of course, they are all special…..but we all have our favorites whether we want to admit it or not. Very sad all the way around. I talked to her on the phone to help her find a way to accept it without blame. I surely hope I succeeded. Bottom line is…we love them and we do Everything we can for them, but we are not God. And we’re not experts…but ya know what? Even experts lose animals. It is what it is. Find a lesson, something to take from the experience of knowing that goat, that you can use in the future. That can carry you through the sad times…. sometimes….usually. Such sadness, on the heels of discovering baby Violet is alive!!! I love saying those words. Baby Violet is alive!
Well….nobody has climbed the forbidden tree trunk and escaped the pen! I’m truly amazed. If it had happened on the other side, in the other pen…I guarantee Yoki would have walked the tree to escape. Certain of it. My Yoki…always wants her greenies. My stomach is icky today…..must be the massive amount of cookies I consumed last night. I showed Cathy what I’ve done so far on the mystery project and she was tickled with it. She said it reminded her of an ocean, and the sands….which makes me think of Pink Beach, on the island of Bonaire….so maybe this creation will be called….peach beach….lol, or peachy beachness. Just having some blog fun folks. Who knows what I’ll call it, or if I’ll call it….anything. Not much left to do, then I can show it. Just did some more work on it….just experimenting, and it works. When you don’t know how to do something….just do it. Alrighty then. All are fed and happy. Maya is indeed pregnant…yay! And I moved Milly over to the Girls pen so she doesn’t have to deal with being chased and rammed on an hourly basis. Tough babies. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.