A Hard memory……shit happens

I am finally typing this from the new laptop. Now I know why I was in no hurry. It’s so different… keyboard wise. So far ok though. Changes are so difficult for us all. My husband and I try to sit in the same booths, same tables at restaurants. We pretty much go down the same ole grocery aisles…..leaving others behind without a glimpse. We wear the same clothes, rarely buying anything new. Hubby did however, buy me two tshirts last week. Those hunter bright orange and a lime green tshirts. 5 bucks each. This simply adds to my collection of said shirts. We pretty much eat the same meals week after week…sometimes I vary it up bi- weekly. The same…..always and everything….the same. No changes. So when changes do come, and yup, they do come…..we struggle a bit. We resist. We Try to resist, but change is as for sure as a baby having to pop out eventually. It just IS. Will BE. At some point…..all babies conceived…..must exit the womb. One way or another.

I’ll never forget being pregnant with a baby I would have named Ryan. I was at the top of the world…..something I’d wanted my whole life, was about to happen. I had problems and ended up in the ER. The next day my Doc ordered a sonogram. I’ll never forget. They made me drink so much water that I actually had to get up off the table and go release 5 seconds worth of pee. Imagine that won’t ya!!!! Very difficult to turn that faucet off, but I did. Only to see the face on the technician. She said, I’ll be right back. Hubby #1 and I looked at each other with fear. Upon arrival back in the room….with others to look at the screen……I was told that my baby had died 3 weeks earlier. I had passed a piece of him the night before. He was deteriorating in my womb. Surgery or whatever, had to take place to remove the rest. Please God, let baby Violet be alive in there! Gruesome story, sorry. It just came out.

I know, I know….who names a baby goat before it’s born? In my defense….she was supposed to be born 2 nights ago in my opinion. I saw what I saw. I don’t understand. But regardless, I needed to find a flower name, since the mom was Lily. Seemed fitting. Violet is my favorite flower and since my Spiritual name is Rose, I didn’t want a Rose goat dying on me, not smart to do that. So, upon thinking about things….one of the possibilities is that there are 2 and they were shifting….so, just in case, I have another name ready. I even have a boy name ready. We shall see. We shall see when Lily’s baby finally exits her body. Hoping and visualizing that it’s with gentleness and ease and kind eyes looking at me and a tiny wagging tail…possibly red curls, or maybe even brown. Ooooh, brown would be awesome. But since I mated a fading red to a fading red, I’ll probably get…..a fading red. But wouldn’t a permanent red be nice? Maybe one day, eh?

I’m watching National Treasure 2. Love these movies. Reminds me of my own dream to find a treasure. Not a money treasure….nope….my treasure that I intend is seeking me as well, is a crystal skull. And it’s not a tiny recently carved one either. I put it on my life’s bucketlist, per say…..and I’m still waiting for it to arrive. I have a small one….recently carved….Mini Max. He sat with Max….and about a dozen others before I got him. My daughter requested him not long ago so she has him. Hmmm. Miss my minimax. Haven’t done much with my crystals lately…or herbs for that matter. Herbs have so many uses, jeesh….especially the ones we consider weeds…..like the dandelion. As do the crystals. Crystals are in the technology things speeding up our life. That’s why I love my pouch. It has the animal spirit with me as well as the crystal spirit. Energy….with me, cuz I’m wearing it and I intend it so.

This morning, hubby walks in the room and says….do you have a whale? Hadn’t seen him since last night 7pm and this is what he says. Do you have a whale? Of course I knew what he must mean and I thought and said, ye know I think I do. I grab my pouch and look…..no whale. He then hands it to me. They drop off, but they always seem to come back!!! Wonder…..hmmm, better look up whale…especially since that makes 3. The whale being given to me, the whale in Nemo tonight and now me talking about the whale. Let’s see what whale is trying to tell me. Hmmm. Record keeper for all eternity…all knowledge associated with voice…psychic and telepathic abilities… all aspects of the sea and …beauty of movement. OK….lets google it as well as the animalspirits.com site. Ooooh…like this one….are we ready to sing forth a new birth in our life….that one fits. Fits like a key. Intuition too and higher abilities…of which I seek and have asked for….even here, in this blog place. Where are we anyway? I’m here on the edge of the bed with the computer in my lap and all the things I need, surrounding me on the bed….watching tv ahead of me and turning my head to look behind me to check on the goats. Where are you? Are you here…..in your imagination? Or are they just words and you’re still sitting there where you are? OR, are we in a separate space place….somewhere in the spider web? Ahhh jeesh…….I’ve already written this much….nearly a whole blogs worth and it’s only 12:33 = 9 = endings. That makes 4 nights in a row. Hmmmm. Night you sweet things!!!!

(Just so you’ll know….up above…where it says…let’s google it as well as the animal spirits.com site……That’s not what I typed. I typed the full description from the animal spirits site, then decided to check google to see if there was something specific. The Sentences have changed. Hmmm….should be used to these type things. This one’s new. I was proofreading since I’m still awake and not busy. In fact….it was two sentences where now it is one. Guess the correct answer was selected for me and the others were deleted. Fun Fun Fun!!! So…sing forth a new birth in my life! Yes! And no, I’m not nuts….I know what I typed. I guess it’s goodnight again. 1:42 = 7 = holy.

Ok….got a plan of attack on all this busyness that has recently struck me. Asked hubby’s advice and he gave me some. He said……since you have a deadline for the yarn….get it ready first, then do the shawls. I’ve never tried to sell yarn before and as I was discussing the different phases of getting it made and ready, hubby says….well, why do you have to do it the way everyone else does it? Why not do it your way. Why not sell the yarn on sticks, like you use them. Really? Sell them as Lollipops? What a cool idea, wonder if people are stuck on the braid then turn it into a ball theme? Just kickin the idea around. I said…would they display easy? He says…get styrofoam and stick em in!!!I l like it. Lollipops. Always have.

Crapola. Hubby just took 3 round bales from the front girls. It’s their wind break. 3 bales. Let’s hope it doesn’t get cold…..like the 30’s they’re calling for all next week!!! His reason? They were falling apart. And one is now sitting in the garden lookin pretty. Nothing I can do, so I say, oh well, goats are tough. I can see them from my vantage point here, sitting on the bed….they are all waiting to be fed, standing at the gate. Miss Georgia is behind me saying she’s hungry too. I’ll be heading out in a few minutes to do just that, and play with my babies. Spent part of the day spinning, part needle felting, part plying and part pulling, aka picking. Chased Ernie around and played with Thelma and Louise so they get to know me more too. Went ahead and gave Khalifa the suppository just in case…nothing happened so far. We shall see. Oh ya…….Lily is feeling so good that she picked a fight with Belle. Go figure. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Ps…..feel like my computers are haunted but haunted in a good way. Pss….sorry if any of this is repeat knowledge, but it gets confusing after awhile what I’ve said and haven’t said. So many blogs. 😀 Speaking of that…..I hit 300 blogs yesterday! WooHoo!!! And fast approaching 10,000 views. Later gator!

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6 thoughts on “A Hard memory……shit happens

  1. Let me start by offering my condolences for your lose of the baby. I know it happened long ago, but it is still so sad to lose a baby.

    I love the picture of the curls. There are times I miss my Angoras, and I definitely miss the mohair they gave me. I’ve used up all my leftover fleeces and will have to buy some soon. Nothing quite like it, is there?

    • Thank you for your words. It is still hard. I lost many but this baby lasted the longest. I spent 8 months in bed to have my daughter. With Jesse, sack was deteriorating. 2 times week to neighbor town hospital.

      Mohair is incredible. I saw a wool that was nearly identical but turns out its not. Ya close…..Teeswater….but no cigar. I’ve tried about 10 wools, bamboo, silk, nothing like mohair. I’ll probably have some available when you’re ready or you can look on Etsy they have tons!!!! ❤💚💙

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  2. Love all your flying ear pictures. Woohoo says Little K, love that picture!!! I know your life has been a hard one, and you have been through much more then most of us. It seems to have made you into the most incredible person. Biggest hugs. Go hug Lily around her belly, just in front of her udder. You will feel the baby moving, it will bring you great relief.

    • Bless you my dear. Ya, it just popped up when I was writing about wondering if her baby was dead inside. Didn’t even cry…this time.

      Great idea!!!! I will. Probably tomorrow though. It’s all quiet in there. Hugggs!!!

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

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