It’s been a very stressful night. At 8:30 pm I came down from the house and saw Lily was acting funny. She was banging her head and holding her head sideways and getting up and down then running. She wasn’t hollerin, she was crying. No goo was coming out so based on what everyone was saying I tried to go in and see if maybe the baby was out of position. I couldnt get my hand in then I finally reached Kimberly. She said since there was no goo to wait it out till there was. Jesse and I came back to the Rv and he played all kinds of music and tv that was stressing me out. He insisted on a beer then on 2 which I made him agree it was the last. He said agreed then he said maybe. Sure enough, he pulled out a third and I said no. He got cocky and I ended up raising my voice to screaming level and had to tell him to leave. Now it’s back to just me. It’s 12:39am and she quit crying after I tried to dilate her. She’s up and active again but still no sounds.
I know I know. I shouldn’t have tried to check when she wasn’t presenting with goo but I was afraid the baby was turned wrong therefore couldn’t be birthed. That was my thinking. Jesse didn’t think I should. I said trust your mother. Mother was wrong I guess. Still no baby though. Ten after one now. It was so warm today. Mid 70’s I’d say. Now it’s heading down to 40. Goats. Getting really sleepy. Guess its the stress, plus I got up early. Jeesh, maybe she was just freakin out and crying over the babies shifting to go into the birth canal. No idea. She’s back asleep again. Earlier it was like she was trying to sleep away the pain. She’d have her fit, run around then lay down immediately with her body curved in a circle. Jesse just messaged me to see and wants me to holler at him when it’s time. Yay and a pair of Wings!!!
And she’s up again all hunched over. Shoulda known. She was letting me pet her today. She’d stopped letting us awhile back. Earlier, when I thought she was in trouble…. She would paw at the ground while she was laying down. Never saw that before and it rather concerned me. Ernie is on a tear today. Screaming a lot and very loudly. Man do you hear me tryin to justify my actions? This is what happens when animals give birth and we second guess everything we’ve done. 1:41am. Right now she’s standing in the house with her face to the wall. Tika, Khalifa,
Star and Etta are in with her. And she’s down and back up again. Still very silent, but then again it is after dark…..way after dark and they try to be quiet as mice. Hmm mice aren’t so quiet where’d that come from?
Well it’s becoming increasingly obvious that she was freakin out cuz of the shifting. As the night progresses it is more and more difficult for her to lay down as the baby is moving closer and closer to me. 2:12am…..and back up again. The place is surrounded with coyote. I could hear them in 3 directions a minute ago when I went to the fence. God I can’t tell ya how spooky and unnerving Ernie’s strange and relentless calls are along with the coyote and my own howling pack. Plain creepy. I went into the pen to check and still no goo and the goats flocked me so for her sake I came back to stare out the window and it’s 2:42am. Who knows I may wipe this entire silly rundown. Hello angels. Approaching my must sleep point but so sure she will go soon. Btw, I heard her talking to her baby earlier. First one this season. And she’s napping again! Took her forever to lay down and she immediately tucked her head in. Then Pearl gets her horn stuck in her curls and starts freakin!!! She freed herself before I could rescue her. Bet all you non goat people don’t know how violent the babies nurse. Quite stunning. Poor mommies. Ok that’s just not normal. Maybe Pearl wasn’t horn stuck. She and her body are acting strangely. Oh it’s her foot!!!!!! Stuck in her curls.that’s the 2nd goat ever and both recently. Good, she laid down, cuz I’m hoping she can wait till I really have to go back in. 3:39 and I’m gonna lean back against the wall and sleep a minute or two. 6:30 I took the hunter coveralls off and laid down. No curtains, lights on…..don’t want to sleep too comfy. 8:34am…..nothin. She’s walkin around and eating hay. Acting like nothin happened. An entire night of it and nothin. Goin back to sleep. 9:00am = 9 = endings.
2:08pm. Lily is acting like nothing ever happened last night and I am shaking like a washing machine. Did I screw up? Is the baby dead now? Plain old don’t know what to think. Ye know, every year at kidding time I say, usually with tears streaming and a dead baby in my arms…..I can’t do this anymore. It never matters if it’s my fault or natures. With a good many left to go……I have to stay sane. Somehow. Flabbergasted. Just plain flabbergasted. What a strange word. Brainfoggeded sounds better. Or mind melt instead of Spocks mind meld. I feel stupid and inadequate when I just want to have faith. Feel faith.
Last night oh, say 3am, she couldn’t even lift her leg to scratch herself and now…..not a problem. And Ernie is still on a screaming kick. Feels like a cosmic joke, this experience. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch while still waiting…