A meltdown……..and a recovery

Well, I had me a meltdown. Jesse needed some financial paperwork answers for a grant and somehow, it was all my fault that the taxes weren’t done and we hadn’t received any tax money back for years. My fault. I am wearing $3 shoes at the moment and I got married in a $2 wedding dress. My needs are not excessive. Anyway, I had a meltdown and Jesse came to the rescue. I had been down here ballin my eyes out with my thoughts escalating and escalating as to how useless I was….and my creations. I was in a freefall and he caught me and lifted me back up. Old habits can rise up…mine being the judgmental me, telling me I’m not a salesman, etc…Jesse said…no, you’re not! You’re an artist. I need to find a way though. I need to find my way, or even anothers way, but I need to start making money. I never knew I needed to. Cuz I didn’t need to. The new tax. It’s heavy. Somehow I’ve got to become a salesman. I hate salesmen. I’d usually rather just give it away. I started an Etsy site months back. Nothing is in it. I encouraged others, like Emmelita, to rise, to sell…..and I didn’t. I didn’t rise. I’m working on it….but not fast enough.

Looks like Jesse and I are going to watch that movie up at the house that didn’t happen the other night. He swears he’ll keep checking on the girls. He was very helpful tonight so I kinda owe him and shoot…he wants to watch a movie with me. Guess I’ll see ya when it’s over. Yup, here I am….1:45 am. Eatin a cookie. Soft Batch….store bought. Shame on me. Ya, I had to stop the movie. He hates it when I don’t pay full attention so it goes on pause a lot. I had another 50 some minutes at 1:30am….no way. Here I am, back safe in my Rv with a pup right outside. Some sleep under the Rv. Protected always, but who knows if they would even detect a threat. Bet they would. Surely they understand vibes!!!!!! Even if I’ve never had to get angry at any human….oh ya….I’ve seen them in action! When that guy threatened hubby…the pups in all actuality, but they reacted. That should assure me. See, I have a problem with faith, because I have fear. My mustard seed is not big enough at the moment when I have fear. I hate that.

I’m not a fan of diets cuz whatever size you are…is the size you are. It’s perfect, just as it is. If you diet…..you are trying to fight against the current of the river of life. Just live. Whatever your weight does…DON’T CARE!!!! Just live without caring what others think. You will go up and down, at lifes whim after that…and it’s great. You are you, no matter what you look like. I recently watched, via Jesse, a times lapsed 10 year photo of of a man. Of course, I quit watching around 6 minutes in, but still. Amazing how different we change, without feeling or knowing. I was one size my whole life, Size 4, minus pregnancies, but when I moved out her, I went to 135 lbs. Didn’t care. Stayed there for a few years, didn’t care. Then it came off, didn’t care. I AM what I AM. Time for nighty night folks. Be blessed and prosper….Me too! 2:12M = 5 = change.

I did dye the roving last night. Tried my best to get the color copper with Koolaid. Ha, not entirely successful but I’m stubborn. Just now sacrified some of my Earl Grey teabags to try to get it closer. Will be working on that some today, as well as taking some photos, once again, of some things I’ve made. Jesse found an app that should help. Plus….this is THE DUE DATE for the gals in the Ladies pen. It’s a bit chilly but great and awesome weather for baby birthing. Come on babies…..Mama wants to meet you and spoil you like crazy! Well, Cathy and I just crutched the one last goat that didn’t get crutched, who I had planned to crutch later since I thought she was bred for a March April kidding. But just in case, since I’ve been assured completely that a goat can show absolutely no signs and kid anyway….well, just to be safe. Done….and Yay. See, usually I don’t have to wonder if anyone is bred. I usually use a proven buck. These were baby bucks. Now you know why all the up in the air and why all the date questions.

Pshoooooey, what a crazy kidding season this is. Very different than usual. Usually they all come out in a 3-4 day span…that’s it. Yikes, this one has been going for months. Ha, just fell flat on my face. Was out feeding and placed the hay wedges on the ground so I could throw them individually and Geezer goes to pee on em. I swoop in to save the hay and down I go. Landing mostly on my knees….one of the same knees that got banged with a flying gate chain. Geezer got yelled at as you can imagine.
Khalifa was more interested in checking out the surroundings than playing with me much today. He’s still so doggone cute. Did a bit more spinning today. So fun this project, so so fun. Apparently I was not forceful enough the first time I uploaded my goodies to FB. So now I’m doing one item at a time, with a price. My daughter and Mea both said…..don’t sell your coat!!! Let’s see what happens. And on that note……..Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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2 thoughts on “A meltdown……..and a recovery

  1. Star is getting so big. My beautiful Georgia shawl arrived, It is beautiful. I love the stitch you do. My chains look nothing like yours. I am sure I am not doing it right. Oh well. If Summer loves your coat that much you should keep it and hand it down to her. Your family heirloom. Love you I have to go into the cold, yuck. 10 degrees now and a foot of snow coming tomorrow. Poor baby goats won’t be able to go out and play

    • I’m so glad you like it hon. As for the coat, nobody mentioned wanting it so it’s probably no biggie. Yes she wanted to inherit it! Shoot you better get ready for all that snow! Huggs

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

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