Sometimes you have a weepy heart and don’t even know why. Sometimes, the tears just bubble up from outta nowhere, like a water spring which has just found new life. It bubbles and gurgles, spitting to prove it’s existence. I am experiencing one of those right now. I know not from where or why it comes to visit me, so I simply entertain it, as I would any guest. How do you entertain sadness? Well…easy peasy….you let her cry. Sometimes it’s not a matter of digging to find the source, the root of the flower…..sometimes, it’s just the miracle of the flower….period. Just the sitting with, and sharing of the moment. On the other hand…sometimes it’s a feeling of overwhelmingness. It could be. I dunno. I know that up at the house earlier while cooking dinner, I was completely overwhelmed by the state of disarray. The big huge mess. Maybe it lingered with me and came on down to the Rv with me. Like I said…maybe. I will remain aware of any triggers, cuz it feels like it’s more. Don’t get me wrong…the state of each and every room in the house is beyond bearable, but it doesn’t usually make me cry. Why am I so messy? Why have I always had such a hard time finding a place for everything?
Ahhh, I know what it is…the lady died. There was recently a FB scuffle about one of the fiber people, taking advantage of and mistreating an elderly fiber woman, who was then put into the hospital. Today, I watched the lady’s friend, Natalie, (who has live stream on occasion) hold her hand in the hospital as she read messages from any and all who wanted to share a message of hope or best wishes. I heard the hospital equipment beep a few times and give them a scare, then after the reading of the messages was done, it was over and I saw a comment that it would be Natalie’s last visit with her friend. It was just posted that Janice did indeed go to heaven tonight. I’m somewhat of an empath and a few other things rolled in, and this makes sense to me. This explains the unexplainable tears and out of the blue sadness. Goodbye dear Janice….you were obviously loved by many. I think what Natalie did by reading those messages was an awesomely helpful thing. For both Janice, and all those who knew her or knew of her. In fact…should I ever be in a comatose state…I’d love for Cathy to read me messages from you guys. I am now certain. Once I acknowledged it, recognized it…it left, the sadness finished its visit and went away. I wonder if I should be saying She, instead of it.
Gosh….I haven’t danced with another human in so long it’s ridiculous. I talk about dancing all the time. Dancing with life, with the spiders, the pups, the goats, the moon, the stars, Spirit, and with myself….but I never talk about dancing with other humans. Let’s see….I’d say it would have to be1998. And I’m not even sure about that, but I had a boyfriend at the time and we went to the club a lot. Hmmm, before that, I guess…..ohhhhhhh….Jody. Ahhhhh. Jody. Ya, I’d like to count him as the last man I danced with. He’s my favorite male memory, after all. And I wasn’t ever married to him. How ironic. In my third marriage now.
I was working as an exotic dancer, aka stripper, to feed my baby, (Jesse), and I broke my ankle before I even started the job. I danced anyways for three weeks, then finally went to the hospital. They said it was fractured, wrapped it up, no cast…and sent me home. I propped it up at work and watched to see how to dance for a few days, and one night…this guy walks by. I’d been drinking…always…tequila…and said…I want that. Then I got up and hobbled over and introduced myself to him. It was the beginning of a fairytale romance that lasted about a year. I was blessssssseddddd. What a good memory. Don’t particularly care for the ending, so I usually just remember the beginning. Mmmmmmm. Oh, and if we danced…it was in the bedroom, and not on the dance floor. Lol, or the front porch. Sorry Jess. Real dancing folks, dirty minds? Lol
Goodness…that’s two blogs in a row talking about dancing. I wonder if there’s some significance to that that I’m not catching yet. I haven’t heard the whisper! And it’s not a full moon or anything! Oh ya…and the FB healing circle’s question for today was….do you know any moon stories. Well, only one, but I shouldn’t tell it. It sounds conceited. I may have told it already when I spoke of the solstice event. But here it is….After I was asked…or rather told, to dance…and a few other things transpired like the two shooting stars shooting around the moon, one on each side….then me standing like a martini glass and shifting male to female, and placing Jesus in the moon….while temporarily taking his place in the sun. To give the feminine force a chance to build. It has already been shifted back, as of Dec, 2010 I think, but I’m just telling you my moon story. Oh wait…shifted back….no, not quite….joined. Male and female, joined and combined. Equal power. But don’t forget….the female had the chance to gain from 2006 to 2010. I know I’ve talked of this before, if feels so familiar. Dang…the little old lady who repeats herself. Bummer and a half. Shoot, for all I know, I may have already told you about Jody! Yikes. So many blogs…Just looked. 290. Guess that means I’m approaching 300. Some people celebrate 300’s, I’ve noticed. I dunno…. I’m going to be playing with something, with fiber, maybe that’s celebration enough. Fun play, creative play….imagination stuff. Yum. Night night sweeeet people. Love you guys. 1:33am = 7 holy holy.
Decided I’d best back up my statements. As a teen, I knew when 2 people had died, before they died. In my 20’s, I was in a room having primal therapy when I heard the pone ring in the other room. I sat up and said….oh, my PapPap has died. I was contacted by the child (RORY), of my friend Tom Zuba, the grief guide. I knew Rory. I also connected to a child who died recently, and don’t forget hubby’s dad, who wanted to stay on earth till Thanksgiving, so I helped him do that, then Tday evening, I heard him go….weeeeeeeeeeee, as he sailed away on his new journey. So, I do have a connection to the veil between here and there, at times. And I was …in essence, in the room with the lady yesterday, during live stream. The lady….her name, was Janice. Someone posted one of her fiber creations last night…huge talent.
Ok…..on to other things. Ok. Once again, something new has come into my world and if I go and blab about it, it sometimes sinks away, into the muck of life. Let’s just say, I have been commissioned to create something. I left Jesse here to listen for the girls and Cathy and I went to town shopping for parts. I then brought bunches of fiber bags and yarns down here to the Rv. This is SO up my alley and I’m having so much fun playing just in my mind at the moment. Haven’t even physically played yet. My brain is buzzing with tickles of fun. Getting started tonight!!! So so SO up my alley. Why didn’t I think of this before? Lol, and why didn’t I pay attention when she first mentioned she wanted this…a month ago!!! I know why….cuz I hadn’t seen any and had no clue. Put my own spin, on it and ya….I can do this, I can So do this. I’m fixin to have me a blast. And aside from the beads I went to town for….I already have all that I need for this….so……this project IS ON!!!!! And since I already know this is for me….anyone know of any good bulk bead places??? Both large hole and small? Alright….I’m way past my stopping point. What fun. Haha, dinner is a pan of frozen lasagna, easy peasy, so I get to start on this in a few hours! So excited. Thank you dearie. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch with a friggin YeeHaw!!! AND….a HeeHaw!!!