Tonight, I was at the healing circle on FB, and she wanted stories this time. She suggested drugs or meditation stories. It prompted me to ask Jesse if he’d ever read Cracked UP. He hadn’t. So I read it once again, to make sure it was ok for human consumption. Funny, what I’d called all this time….a book….is only 10 pages long. Ha, not a book. It gives a bit of background, then into the thick…then it describes the life…in detail. Pretty yukky but educational read. Horrible for me personally to read. I wonder what I should do with a ten page thingie on what it’s like to be on Crack? I guess I could post it here as a Page. I dunno. When I wrote it…I had moms in mind…so they could recognize the symptoms. Horrible subject, golly bum.
But since I’m talking about it…let’s go there. I first smoked nicotine….gosh, I just had a fear……of someone being able to become me because I tell so much. When I was 11. We were visiting family and were at a grocery store and my sisters stole cigarettes. True Blue. We snuck by a fence and smoked them. When school started, I was scared to death, sitting on the bus…afraid someone would have to sit with me….and a girl does. She turns to me and says…do you smoke? Yes, do you? And a friendship was born….to be repeated in a college classroom with my friend Susan only this time it was referring to marijuana…( helps nausea, pain, stress, fear, anger, etc…oh ya, eats cancer). I swore 2 things. I would never do heroin and I would never shoot up. I kept the heroin one.
The shoot up one was caused when I was living in a brothel….lol……and my friend the Madame, wanted me to try it once (no, I was not a hooker, just needed a place to stay for a few days). I tried to get out of it but no. So…she makes me watch. Says it’s a rule. From that day on…I’m no longer afraid of needles. BUT….it didn’t get me high, so she did it one more time….still no high that I could detect…..and I never did it again. I did however end up in jail that night for saying……”Hey girl, how the Fu_k are ya doing?!!” Lol, nah, it’s simple…the police were trying to take down the country western club I was working in…it was my night off, but I used profanity in public, so they put me in jail and interrogated me all night trying to get me to tell them drug dealers names. I kept saying I knew of none. Not true. Back then I lied. Till 1998.
Ok, so….I’ve done hash(Yum), crack(God forbid), eight ball/rj8 speed capsules (scratch your head for the awesome itch and puke) , crank (once) (don‘t remember specifics), shrooms (don‘t remember but not pleasant), acid…(YUKKKKKKK), zanax…(like acid….yuck), valium, (nice, calming and helps to sleep). Antidepressants, (heart attack symptoms) alcohol…as in hard liquor, (rapes, assaults, broken bones, death of friends). And there’s another whose name escapes me….a big huge white pill that turns your body to rubber. Qualuude!!!!! Ahhhhh, I kinda liked those. I may be forgetting a few drugs I’ve tried or have been subscribed to me, but you get the jist. I’ve sampled. I know. NOW…..I only do Beer….and marijuana….the two least harmful and personally quite beneficial to me. The beer helps me sleep and the maryjane helps me be free from pain. Bottom line. Did you know that every night between 8pm and oh, say 11 or midnight…..I think….but I don’t have anything to say…I don’t have anything on my mind!!!! Lol, every night. Somehow…words are found. Ha! 595 so far to be exact.
It’s raining. The exact scenario that caused Khalifa’s eyes to go closed. Dirt gets in the eyes…lol, smoke gets in the eyes…ya, I’m hoping his eyes are wide open come morning. Mea said her baby did it tonight too, something about it being a white baby, vs. a colored baby. How funny is that. Two things have come together with a vengeance. One….I’m peeing in the toilet all the time now, and Two, hubby added water to the flush…therefore…it’s only been a week and I once again, need to empty. Yum. Can’t wait. Hope I remember how. He made me do it all, every step myself. So I’d remember…I don’t learn otherwise. Hands on makes it stick with me.
Wow…just what you wanted to know on your Monday evening. What kinda drugs MamaSheri has done in her lifetime and that she needs to dump the pee tank in the Rv! I probably forgot some…really. Now that your brain has encountered this splendiferous information, suffice it to say that you are most probably encompassed in a conversation with yourself. Drugs…brain. Here’s your brain on drugs. Hmmm, here is mine. So now that you know that I’ve done the unthinkable and have dabbled in the drug world as I grew and aged…..what do ya think? Did it make me dumb and stupid? Did it make me useless? Ye know…all my life, they said marijuana kills brain cells. Why then, am I not speaking like a two year old? Why am I not reduced to one syllable words? Why then am I able to use words like splendiferous and existential? Just fodder for the brain to ponder. Nightie night my friends…..smoke em if ya got em. Oh wait….they say drinking it is healthier! Nah. 12:44am hello angels!!!! = 11…master number.
It’s a rainy day!!! Again!!! I wish Khalifa would move into the shed. His mom is in there, he’s against the edge. If I go down there, they’ll all get up and it will accomplish nothing. I’m shouting myself raw and she’s not budging to get him and he’s not budging to go in. Maybe the roof provides enough protection where he’s at, cuz he just ain’t moving. He is the ONLY goat NOT in the shed/house. The good news is….I can see both of his eyes from here and they are both open!!!!! Looks like we could get some sun to dry that baby out. He’s just so sweet. every time I turn my head to look, my stomach clenches with the intensity of the Love I feel. Star is in the back corner of the shed with Etta. It’s kinda cold too. No, not like y’all stuck in the blizzard cold….but enough to make it uncomfortable with the rain. I don’t want to run the heater during the day so I’m fairly cold…..and the bummer of it is….our warm weather seems to have gone away and the forecast has it like this or colder for the next 10 days….we should be kidding any time around the 19th. Eight days. But that’s only IF they had sex the first day they were together.
I don’t know if any of you noticed….but I never re-splinted Khalifa’s ankles. I did a bit of stretching them, not much…and he is just fine now. I hadn’t planned on going to town to try for Jesse’s license cuz of the rain, but he didn’t know that and got all ready to go. So…way later than I would have wanted, and too late for the post office….we went to town. Nope…..no license till all fines are paid. Idiots….how does one pay a fine without getting a job and how does one get a job with no license to drive to get there? So, Mea…your package is still here……dinner is all screwed up too. The baby’s eyes are open but he once again has some dirty goo. It’s the dang rain I think. Not enough to close his eyes, but he definitely has dirt and a bit of goo. OOOh….I’m way over….word wise. Gonna sign off now from YeeHaw Ranch. P.S…..he’s finally inside the house.