Ah crap…..now I’m a carrot seed……..

There are so many aspects to my Spiritual journey…….so many choices to make so many things to learn. I’m discovering that what I thought I believed fully….apparently I had a leak in my balloon. I let other peoples thoughts, doubts and outright disdain……cloud what I truly believed. It’s starting to take it’s toll on me now as I go to do something….only to realize I don’t have enough faith. I, the mustard seed lady, apparently don’t have a mustard seed ….. No, it’s becoming apparent that I have a carrot seed. How disappointing is that? I need a spiritual vacation. Some time alone, in the woods. Guess it’ll have to be my woods cuz I can’t get away. There’s a few things I need to sort out and even a few things I want to try….but only in seclusion and sacredness. Lol, not my living room.

This faith thing is affecting me more than I want to tell you. Loss of faith, belief, is not something I can be proud of. It feels like a step back. Can I truly believe that I’m receiving downloads? That there is an invisible grid? That we all have a merkaba? That the archangels are channeling their thoughts to humans? That the spaceships are here, flying in and out, come to help us ascend as a planet for the first time in galactic history….to ascend while still alive? And spirit guides. Why do I have no spirit guides? Cardinal and hawk, yes, but they don’t really tell me things. The things I’ve just mentioned may sound wacky to you or they may sound familiar.

The thing is….there are countess other wacky things that I DO have good faith in so what makes the difference? I believe all that stuff from my solstice thingie, I believe that I connect to some departed and even not yet departed souls, and I believe that I healed 2 children when I was a child. One to walk and one to talk. The talking child was emotional wounds though…he just wouldn’t speak, it wasn’t that he couldn’t. I believe I’ve healed others through distance and I believe that God talks to me all day, in a silent conversation. I believe that God just stopped me from telling what I thought was the truth but upon reflection wasn’t…..by randomly turning on the caps. When I saw it in bold print….I realized, nope, not something I have firm belief in. I believe in my protection prayers and in my flu filters. See….aren’t these things wacky? And fairies????? Why can’t I believe in fairies….I’ve said this before…..I want to!!!!!! What dictates the things we get solid faith for?

Well, I now have one less fear. I was just talking to myself, as I draped one of my shawls over my shoulders, and for some reason I was defending the shawl and I said, well, it’s my thing….my one thing. I already knew that and was planning on asking the lady who wanted me to make these hats. Before she got specific, that is. That’s when I had the idea (what I thought was the one thing idea) and went and blabbed it on here and then got scared I couldn’t do it. How silly is that? Well, my Thing……is something I can do. I DO do. The idea is still good and I intend to see what happens there but in the meantime I guess I’ll show the lady my scarves and shawls as they are now. Ye never know. Oooh…my brain is going. I love it when that happens. Creative juices are waking.

I evolve, people. Sometimes I go back a few steps and sometimes I go forward too fast, with too much enthusiasm and I make mistakes. Every day I learn something new about myself. Cathy said just today…. That she needed a certain period in her life…she called it the quiet time….and although she hated it at the time, she said it was necessary for her to learn about herself. She’d spent her whole life learning about others and she’d needed to also learn about herself. I’ve had that quiet time. It seems as if we never quit learning about ourselves cuz I’m still in….well, maybe high school and checking into colleges. Ok ok…not giving myself enough credit. In college….entering Bachelors….newly named…..Crones Degree. So far, the course has been a bit rocky, mentally, ….otherwise….so far so good.

I wanted to further explain the fall birth idea. See here’s the deal. I have my babies in March and was told at the goat show/sale that my goats were small because I had them when it was warmer. That they went through their growing spurt part during the heat of summer….therefore not eating enough. I have a few problems with that….one being….I have never had a goat not want to eat everything available. Also, the babies are born in the coldest part of the year when they are the most susceptible….. So….putting together my thoughts and their thoughts….I decided to have them birth in October when its not freezing yet and the births can happen easily and comfortably for all…then, when they get to that growth spurt part….it will be plenty cold. The argument against it is….you can’t force the boys to go in rut. I may be wrong, but I strongly disagree. I think a buck will take advantage any day of the year….just like a man. So….that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it. I won’t have very many I want to breed at that time, but some is enough to try out a theory, eh? Ok….glad I got that out, it’s been needing to come out for awhile. And on that note……sweet sleep people!!! Blessed days and sweet sleep. 1:37am =11= master number.

Something wonderful happens at kidding time, besides the babies. I think it’s about being in the pen, in close quarters, but the girls that previously had nothing to do with you, now come closer. They see you interacting with and touching the other does daily without harm to them and eventually they just can’t help themselves. They come closer. Today I touched Maya’s nose as well as her mother Mimi’s. It doesn’t happen often, but it seems like they are just about to pass the hump. Oh I hope so. Even Joy, Donna’s girl, is paying more attention to me…not coming close, but really paying attention. It’s a start and it should improve because there is this sometimes thing where goats get all nicey nice when they’re abut to give birth. It’s another sign to watch for. Just checked….nuttin honey. Had to get all bundled up to check, cuz it’s cold and I forgot it rained last night. Didn’t wear my rubber boots and my moccasins have huge holes….let’s just say I got cold toes. Not complaining…got other folks doing this in much colder weather! That means you Grace…..eyelids frozen together, night trips to heat the water, man….I got it easy compared to you. But I can absolutely guarantee all of you, I won’t ever be doing this again. Never again will I do what THEY do, against my own knowhow. I am sitting here in my house with the heat on…shivering so bad that I can’t do anything. I just sit here. This makes me feel so bad for the goats who are outside where it is MUCH colder. To be this cold and then have to deal with labor pains and delivery on top of that cold? Nope. Not gonna do it no more.

Ok….I have just removed my mummy clothes and have finally found my warm slippers and am in for the night. Both Tika and Happy were happily eating when I left them, so I shouldn‘t have to worry about them giving birth tonight. Star was really into her grain tonight, probably cuz it’s so cold. Oh….she played….just longer eat stops and the cutest little squeak she makes when she eats her grain. The more clothes I have on, the harder it seems to be for her to jump on me. Either that or it’s the material on my hunter clothes. Either way…..lol, she slides off a lot! They are going through more hay this week too. And the pups!!!!…..boy are they frisky! And we wind down to a close. Once again, I’m thinking I’ve said too much about my beliefs…but I’d have to redo half the darn blog to pull it out. So, in it stays and you get to know just how wacky I and many many of the world are…..cuz honey….I ain’t the only one learning about these things. Ok….signing off from the kitten infested house, known as YeeHaw Ranch. (They knocked over a fry machine and oil went everywhere)

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8 thoughts on “Ah crap…..now I’m a carrot seed……..

  1. Awe, I am surprised that the goats can find you through your camo clothing. Fairies, you can believe in anything you want, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Do we all have a Merkaba, I don’t think so. Wiki has a bit of insight from different religions on this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkabah_mysticism
    I think you need to understand your faith, not Summer’s faith. There are angles all around and they want us to all do good, channeling thoughts to us? well that would be against Gods Law, saying we all have free choice, I believe the devil channels thoughts to us to get us to go the wrong way. God does talk to us, most of us don’t listen, but you do, don’t doubt that. You have a special connection with your spiritual self, Summer is dealing with her faith in her own way, don’t doubt yourself or your understanding. Although there is only one God, it is all connected, her view is part of yours and your view is part of hers, but there are parts that are different, not wrong just different.
    As for spirit guides, The hawk, intuition, seeing things that are just beyond our understanding, the cardinal, bright red, giving clear vision, seeing things as they are.

    Cardinal:
    Cardinal Medicine renews vitality in life and returns joy, brilliance and balance to the mind, body and spirit. He awakens spiritual transformations, intellectual insights and heightens intuitions and perceptions. Cardinal aids in manifesting dreams and ideas by focussing intentions where it’s needed. He adds color and balance to life and demonstrates that everything you do is important. He aids in understanding and helping you find your own song in life. Are you doing what needs to be done or should be done? Pay attention to your diet. Are you eating balance meals; too much or not enough? Cardinal can teach moderation in all things and can help in finding a healthy balance of physical and spiritual. Do you have enthusiasm for a project or idea? Are you voicing your ideas? Are you listening carefully to others and your surroundings. When you listen to Cardinal’s lessons, he will teach you strength in creativity and productivity with discernment and balance.

    Hawk:
    Hawk teaches visionary power and clear sight with strong observation habits while using patience. He is a sign showing how to ride the winds of change, creativity and the power to surrender oneself to Spirit’s guidance. Hawk clarifies reality and reiterates that one is on the correct life path. He aids in truth and illumination, gives a sense of guardianship and watchfulness and reiterates wise and important of opportunities are opening up. His swiftness, wisdom, leadership and strength in actions will guide with honor, integrity with grace and beauty. He will show how to see more in life from a higher perspective of truth. Hawk will show you how to fulfill your soul’s purpose. Be ready for a greater intensity to life for Hawk will guide you in the mind, body and spiritual aspects of your journey.

    Hugs, hugs and more hugs

    • I am truly stunned that you took that much time to type all that. You did that for me! In my past, most people didn’t use up any of their time on me. You honor me. I love you and am so joyed that we met. Thankyou for your wonderful insights.i do need a spiritual vacation. Most of the archangel stuff comes about from a blog I read. The whole blog is assorted channelings. Maybe that’s what I should stop. Oh so many hugs my dear Mea. ❤

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  2. I agree with the ” getting closer to your girls” thing during birthing. My experience has usually been positive, meaning I am closer to the goat after working with her with her babies, especially maidens. I do have a foundation matriarch that would never hesitate to bite me as I was assisting drying babies or dipping navels. That’s Teacup and I accept her where she is.
    I wanted to share an experience I had this last summer. I started with sheep ( they had been my passion all my life). Over the last five years, I have taken over caring for all of the animals, (Angora goats (38), Alpacas (3) and sheep (12). While I was finishing shearing, trimming feet, and vaccinating, it hit me like a brick wall. I suddenly realized that I have their trust. They realize I won’t hurt them, and if I ask them to do something, it is usually a good experience for me and the goat. I have never caused them harm or asked them to do anything where they would get hurt.
    After coming to this realization, I began listening. I watched them more. And, I realized that they communicate with me. They even have, at times, come to me with an injury or a hurt foot because of mud impact ion or a stone. They know I can and will fix it.
    It’s like a warm feeling that comes over you. Your animals become more than a chore to do, or another task on the chore list. My animals honored me this summer by acknowledging my as their shepherdess. it was something I waited my whole life to feel. I love way it feels and I will never give them reason to mistrust me.

    • Ahh I’m so happy you get to live you life dream! How special that is! Ha, so far I haven’t had any bites at birthing just shearing. One elder, Donna will call her babies to her if I try to bond. And ya I know what you mean. After we had a couple deaths here this summer and they saw me grieve, things changed a bit. They now know. Especially Mimi the Queen. I loved her baby Kya more than any goat ever. Damn crying again. When I mourned and moaned…Mimi came to me. Right up to my face. Never before and never since. Now that we’ve had this discussion I think I will redo my catch techniques. Kinder softer cuz now that I think about it….that’s where I lost the touch ability and trust of some of the young ones. Cool.thanks for talking to me!!! ❤

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

  3. Some animals learn faster than others that you are “safe”. My first 2 sheep were crossbred ewes from a commercial flock. They had only been handled once or twice a year before I got them (shearing and lambing). One of them, Iris, quickly learned that I was ok, but she also knew if I needed to catch her or if I just wanted to catch her. If I needed to, I could walk right up to her with a halter in my hand and she would stand there and wait for me. If I wanted to, I couldn’t get within 20 feet of her. One of my ewes now, Midge, has been with me for 5 years (she is 9 years old). She has only started trusting me in the last year, and only if I am alone.

    As far as breeding your goats for fall births, it will not be easy. Some breeds will breed any time of year, but angoras are normally seasonal breeders. Even when my buck lived with the does, he only bred them in the fall. I try to breed for January/February babies so that they will be big enough to be competitive for the shows that I go to, but sometimes the animals have other ideas. Of course, we don’t get the heat that you do in the summer.

    • Wow. 5 years!! Hmmm well I’ve got patience! And I’m determined. And about that fall birth thing….I had another tell me last night that it might not be so easy. She said…..sheep yes, goats not so easy. I still need to try but if it doesn’t work I’m going back to spring births and outta this winter birth. I don’t do shows so large isn’t needed. Ya it was the large goats at the show that freaked me out cuz my goats weren’t near that big! They said mine were small due to spring birth therefore I tried it their way. Not likin it so far. :))) thanks for chattin!!!

      Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

      • I found that a lot of people that show Angoras really pump the protein to them, especially as babies. Not good for them in the long run but it sure does make them grow. Bothers me at the shows when I see bucklings that have horns that belong on 3 or 4 year olds, and I know that high protein diets burn out the kidneys. My old Maynard buck was 19 or 20 when he passed, and I’ve had several does that were still kidding when they were in their teens. If you aren’t going to show, have the babies when you want (and the goats cooperate)!

      • Thanks for that! Yes I encountered that at the one show I went to last summer. There’s a blog. I too was mindbended about the horns and the size. Then I bought a Blue goat from the sale and found out a few days later that my 18 month old buck was an 6 month old baby buck!!!!!! She’d fed him mesquite seeds to grow him. 😀

        Sheri Lee YeeHaw Ranch

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