I was just reminded that life is unknown. There is no security. So I guess we just create and try to keep our mustard seed. If you think about it like that…..that makes every single day an adventure! So, each day……as I step outside to feed, check, pet, leave, whatever……I can look at it as an adventure cuz I truly don’t know what will happen. It’s all a surprise! Even if I steer, with my thoughts and words….even if I’m creating it…..I’m not firmly aware of the subconscious things I’m saying/creating. As you guys know…..I normally have my head on right. I just seem to be suffering from a solstice concussion. I’m having to reanalyze myself and my beliefs. If I wasn’t typing this here.. as a blog….I’d be writing it in my chicken scratch handwriting, probably on an envelope, to be thrown away periodically as I clean. If I KNEW I was in the mood for writing…then I would grab one of my many journals. The point is….why not bring you along for the ride….as well as preserving some of my writing for posterity. Hmmm, need to look up that word and see it’s exact definition…..all future generations. Yup, that’ll work.
Do you guys realize what it means to be celibate? Aside from the obvious….no sex….it means no hugs….no snuggles…..no neck rubs….no holding hands. It pretty much means no touch whatsoever. Thank God for visits from daughters and sons. A hug is sometimes needed. Physical touch, is sometimes needed. Don’t get me wrong….I would not choose the opposite….no way no how. Never want to have sex again…..ever. EVER. There was this one guy…Jody Boykins…..ahhhh man….he’s my one good memory. Course, this memory is chalk full of mystery and erotic stories…he loved to call me and tell me tales, and draw me pictures. There were also rose petals, candles and bubble baths. And the other part….well, jeesh…..a celibate woman doesn’t talk about such things. Nope….my days of that are long over. I’m only 51 but I’ve been celibate since I was 38. Long time folks. I think I miss the neck rubs the most.
Hubby picked up my laptop. It was malware. Viruses. Jeesh….it’s not safe to cruise the net anymore. I’m thinking the old laptop is now infected too, although the new security software says it’s clean. Honestly….one thing to the next. If it were a new sudden thing…but no, it’s been going on forever….kinda like the frog in hot water would jump out….the frog whose water was slowly heated would stay until his death. Maybe I should say a prayer around these items….or sage them or something. How do you sage….technology? …..the internet? Watching Hope Floats. At the part of….check….check check…lol. Night night sweet people. My thoughts are with ya.. And all you people kidding right now…..may the births come with grace and ease. May you have beautiful wee ones. Night. 1:44am = 9 endings
“THINK ON THESE THINGS
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler
What great surprises wait in store for us? What seemingly unbelievable events startle our ability to reason and what logic evades us just when we had begun to think we could do anything? Suddenly we are walking in the deep dark woods with no light and nothing to guide our steps.
We do not know it all. When we begin to think we have the world by the tail we had better reassess our standing place. What was once a secure footing is now shaky ground. Where is our help? Everything we had figured out as right no longer has validity and we begin to look for the light.
If only we would all look for the light. If only we were not so set in our ways, defending our right to be someone that knows it all, we could stand in the light. Listen, without the Light there is no life. When we give in to the fact that something greater exists for us, we feel the hold on our consciousness loosen.
——-Halona Akichita Yazzie”
Night night people. 2:11am = 4 angels 😀
The sun is out. Yippee! I’ve got the Littles roaming the yard for anything green. All is quiet on the birthing front and I saw the Bigboys today and those 2 are still not there. Hubby thinks they’re fine……an internet friend said go check….and my instinct is….they are dead. Seriously……this much time gone by…..took me awhile to realize that these 2 in particular were missing cuz I see them periodically. My point is…..it’s been around 2 weeks. If they were in trouble….which would require a drive through the land and find……no prob…..go a rollin in the mud. But 2 weeks? If they were in trouble….they would’ve needed rescued way before this. That’s just my thinking. Plus, if I get the buggy stuck….then I’m down a buggy at least till Sunday. Thinking I should wait and let hubby look. Cathy agrees!!!!
Ahhh, well, the mommy in me won out. We poured cattle cubes to occupy the cows and off we went in the Zen buggy. Lordie did we get wacked with tree branches!!! Let’s just say the path has overgrown. We did find one of the missing boys. The Head guy….Aramis, is no more. I think the part that has me the most freaked out…is not his death……or finding the dead body….but the finding of the skin….the hair in huge sheets. What could be on my land that could do that? Also, right next to Aramis’s body, were these huge tractor ruts…oodles of them. I thought the electric company cutting trees away from the poles may have hit him by accident and just moved him….so I took off to confront them….You guys kill my goat and not tell me? They say it was already dead, they saw it. Didn’t see a second goat though. I at least got them to agree to come back and fix the huge holes. So…..I know that Damey is somewhere in the same shape, just not findable yet. That little jaunt took 2 hours!!! The corpse, as usual, fascinated me. And of course, I took photos. I know…..I have a strange thing goin here, surprises me too. Goes all the way back to my first pet hamster, who was dying and I didn’t have a photo so I laid him in my hand while my dad took a Polaroid and he peed in my hand and died. I take photos of all my dead animals. Even the baby woodpecker who’s own long long tongue, stabbed him in the head. Lol, sorry.
And on to the other possible tragedy. Because Aramis was the herd Leader….it has created a vacuum. Not only are they splitting into sliver groups….but two are now locked…horn locked…wedged in so hard that there are grooves on each side of the ones horns. Jesse couldn’t pry them apart and they have gone into the woods for the night and I can’t reach them to try again Had my neighbors come over to help but they were gone. It’s dark. So….we are down Aramis….and probably Damey….and now possibly old Wyatt and Nobles. If they make it through the night, we will try everything we can including a vet to cut a horn off if necessary. It’s been helluva day. I feel so bad. Damey probably got killed in a fight due to the leader vacuum. Who knows when or where we will find Damey, Aramis’s son. Not the best day here at YeeHaw Ranch…..signing off. Ps…I ran out of gas 20 feet from the pregos pen.