Here’s what I’m preoccupied with tonight. I talked of trying to donate some of my goats to a reservation. While I am in the midst of trying to work something out…..I see a video about the forced relocation of the Dine and Hopi. I need to understand more about the time frame, but regardless…..this video…you really ought to watch it…please??? The government wanted them to move so they bulldozed the plants and trees where they got their medicines. Then they confiscated all their animals. All the sheep. They were then put into tiny metal tract homes and forced to remain. The women said it was prison. Not one sheep, the one lady said….not one sheep. She then said that if they were hungry before, they could eat a sheep. Now they go hungry. This, my friends, drives the crusader part of myself. Drives, steers and pushes the gas. I’ve already stretched what I can give away, by two goats. Shoot….I need to look harder. I may just have to give high sellables as well. I dunno. This just breaks my heart and is just intolerable. I didn’t know. Did you know? And it turns out that these are the very people who showed interest. It said it takes 34 sheep to provide for a family of 4. I can only give 16. Man. Need more goats to give. Ok…..off of that soapbox for now. And it may turn out they’re not interested… After all, they know sheep. I have goats. I’m just here. Either way.
And onto last nights topic of meant to be…like it or not…….well, I’m now one and a half weeks into this illness and guess what? Here comes the throat and sinus part. Jeeze…..either that or I caught it at the Dr’s office.
Everything is speeding by…things are happening so fast, so many things to remember….I’m confused……what am I not learning correctly? Is it that I don’t meditate? It feels like I’m supposed to go underground. Go out of my brain….enlighten to the point of no brain. I’m not there yet. These are some of the thoughts that go on in my head. And like….that I lived a section of my life in sadness….and a section of my life in joy……I always thought I’d at least get an even amount……rather irrational, eh? So now….what I’m feeling is a call to go in between. In between sadness and joy. Sounds like nothing to me. I don’t like nothing. That’s why I don’t meditate. Nothing happens. And the blog…why is it struggling so against being published? I know I’m doing everything I can…but why are the problems so many and repeated. When life is a struggle…it usually means I’m going the wrong direction in the river of life. Just said this last week. I mean seriously…..a brand new laptop. A brand new internet with a backup. An Iphone with 4G. You would think that with those items, I’d be able to upload a few words and photos once a day. Be a cinch. So what’s up? It seems that no matter how much I upgrade, it’s still a struggle to get it on the web. My daughter said the most beautiful prayer for me and my life and my blog and etc…..after I told her what was happening. It was one of the most thorough prayers I’ve ever heard in my life. Yet…..it’s still happening. No idea if this will make it into the blog
Aquarius. A link to that song was just posted. It is, as I just said a day or so ago…a trigger song for me. A trigger to get me on track. I understand now. The fear factor needs to go. This is something I’ve been expecting to happen since I was a little girl. Why let fear overwhelm me now? I didn’t realize I was doing that. I guess it’s seein the stuff about Israel, and NK, having this new leader and all, and the prophecies and now the Natives are restless. They want, some of them, to take their land back by any means……… Am I really supposed to believe that magic is going to happen on one date and fix everything….or destroy everything? Either Or…… Like I said….many many odd thoughts go through my head. And…I don’t feel good. 😦 Goodnight sweet people. See ya tomorrow. 1:14am.
Lordie. I now have a full on headcold as well. What fun. I haven’t spoken to my mom in awhile but I had to call her today to see if she could mail Jesse a money order and I’d mail her a check. Otherwise….I gotta drive to town today to get it on the books on time. She said yes. Yay! She didn’t know he was in jail. Hopefully she’ll come round someday where Jess is concerned. He has changed so much since he arrived here two Junes ago. He has matured, learned and grown. He is kinder now and has compassion. He used to tell me he couldn’t have compassion. He does now. When he arrived originally, he was an atheist. Now he’s asking for prayers. I’m so grateful to have reconnected with my son. I’ve tried to give him a crash course in what I now believe. He used to hate it and tell me not to. Now….hehehehe….he asks!!!
Etta’s puffy back end is twitching. Hmmm, hadn’t noticed that one before. And there’s a marked dent in her sides…..baby definitely dropping I’d say. Due to her age…..Tracee suggested I consider making them bottle babies. I haven’t decided yet. Hehe, I keep saying babies. Odds are against that, but ye never know. Like, when I count up how many babies will be arriving this year…..I will separate it by 1st timers and old timers. Old timers usually have 2…..not 1st timers. And boy do I have a ton of 1st timers this year. I’m finally to the point of doing the popup…….popup outta the chair…look out back window…..sit back down. I also have the window cracked in case she’s a screamer. I once found out Dimi was in labor while working in the garden in the front yard….by the screams I heard!!!
Haha, well, no babies today….Etta is eating up a storm. I had to get creative today to get her the extra protein……she now LOVES peanuts, and she knows what I’m doing, so she watches me. When I see her in a good spot…I toss it and she grabs it. We’re getting pretty good at it! For the first time…..she got the majority of the peanuts. It’s supposed to help the babies coats. Lots of bashing going on back there….frustrating to no end. Everyone else is doing well. It’s funny how I looked at the ones I may be sending off. Ha, then the phone rings…I don’t answer cuz it says out of area…oh crap….could be them!!! Pay attention dearie. I have a feeling I’ll feel better tomorrow. Good grief, I sure hope so. Oh ya…..turns out there is someone with goats there…..we shall see. 😀 Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Not sure how much of my mind swirl was understood, but I gave it a whack.