Life is very funny. You are born and can’t speak or care for
yourselves. You grow and are told when to speak. And in the end, you
can’t speak much or care for yourselves. What a cycle. I read today
that there is a …hmm, what was it…a mollusk maybe……and it was
named Benjamin Buttons…because it aged backwards, was reborn and
relived….over and over and over. When I was a child…..I was drawn to
the extreme to a movie called She. Not a pleasant movie mind you……this
was about a woman ruler…..there were slaves and sacrifices…..but
mostly…..there was a blue flame. a pale blue flame. I consider it one
of my spiritual triggers. I watched that movie every chance I got…and
the strangest part is…..the pale blue flame represented forever
life…Life immortal…..and for a person who wanted to die from childhood
on…till age 38…….isn’t it odd that I would be drawn to something that
made you live forever? I find that very odd indeed. Another trigger is
the song Aquarius which came a few years later in life. It registered
in my 40’s….ding ding ding. Course I was already on my path…..maybe
the triggers were in case I didn’t make it. Another interesting thing
is my love of angora rabbit yarn as a teen. Now, I am allergic, but
isn’t it interesting that I played with fine fiber when I was a child?
I wrapped my boyfriends…one that there was……class ring with it, so it
would fit my finger. Always in very colorfully dyed yarns and my hand
was oh so fuzzy….oh so soft. Do any of you have any triggers? Things
that say to you…..you are right where you’re supposed to be? Things
that speak to you….call to you. My brain is still on people. The fever
is yimmyammying back and forth and all is good.
I’m reminded of a story. I was on the island of Bonaire and black
coral was now outlawed to harvest, but the people we were staying with
had some old stuff from before the prohibition. He was letting me make
a piece of jewelry. It was a stick of black coral, oh….about 2 inches
around….maybe less. He said…what do you want to do with it. I said…cut
it on the diagonal. I cut the back straight and normal…..then made it
where it was thin on one end and very thick at the bottom end. Once I
cut it, I knew it was exactly what I’d envisioned and was thrilled
with myself. I polished that pendant for the whole 2 weeks I was
there. It was a real work of art. Before I left the island however….I
was at church. My husband, (1st), his parents are missionaries, radio
missionaries….and anyway…..the preacher says….”whatever you hold most
dear to you…whatever you are the most proudest of…you must give it
away. Give away your heart. I was sunkin in like a crashed boat off
the reef. I had to give away my beautiful black shiny perfect stone.
Since I was giving away my heart….I gave it to my mom when I returned
home. She wrapped it in a tissue and put it in her pocket. I think you
can guess the rest. Yes…lost and never found……my heart. Haha, funny
that that came up tonight. I was in my 20’s when that happened…but
ha…I’d been sliding down walls wayyyy before that. I honestly haven’t
slid down a wall in 13 years. Now, I have gone weak in the knees, but
that was due to a horrendous circumstance that I’ve already spoken of
and once is enough…..lol, or until the next time such an event has to
occur. God forbid. Nah…sliding down walls is for those who are
hopelessly depressed….consumed with the self and the self’s life. It’s
utterly unbearable but I bore it for 38 years.
As an example of how I follow Spirits whispers…..I told you about me
starting to wear hair ties on my left wrist for whatever need may
arise. Well, with the illness coming on, I was feeling the need for
color and the ties I had on were browns. So I changed them up today.
In my Wiggles book….available at the top of every page here….I had
color healing rooms. So, I wanted color. I put on one of each chakra
color…but red I took off…..fuschia stayed……yellow broke and flew
across the room…oh ya, I was stretching them….and green appears to be
gone as well. For some reason I didn’t include blue. At the moment,
I’m wearing fuschia, orange and green…but just now…..a thick
rubberband made it’s way into my beer huggie and I finally pulled it
out and slipped it on….knowing that in the near future, I will indeed
need that rubberband. That, my friends, is an example in following the
whisper. Left right…take a step, don’t take a step…these are things I
want to know…and I get them. Oh dear…word overload… Temp, 100….down
from 100.5….last night 100.7. Just charting the journey folks. Night
As I was driving to the Dr, I was thinkin about when I’d checked on Etta before I left. I’d asked her how she was doin and she did the touch the nose to the backend area thing that sometimes means…..ouch, what is this I’m feeling. I started to think of the babies and I began to cry. Then I realized I was in the thick of true pure emotion so I used it to manifest their safe births and healthy lives. Emotion blended with thought is the recipe for creation. Im thrilled that i was able to recognize and utilize. Cool beans folks. My emotions seem to be hovering on the edge right now….easily sending me to tears. I’ll try to utilize this rawness again.
As I was driving, I realized how grateful I was so I started naming everything off that I was thankful for and I cried again. Lol. I am so grateful for my 38 years of misery cuz without them I wouldn’t be able to recognize joy in an instant. I told God/Spirit that this was the most exciting portion of my life and thank you for healing me, cuz I’m just getting started!!!!
2 1/2 hrs in Dr office and yes. I have a major lung infection. Extra large dose of Steroid shot, and antibiotics. Shot usually works fast. Also, the hand IS Broke and the bones may not have met up. Wonderful. Trying a banana shake while waiting at pharmacy…so dang hungry. Praying for Etta the whole time. Nope, Etta is just fine. Nothin happenin either. That’s cool!
Put my wristbrace back on per Doc’s orders and just got done feeding. An uneventful event. It’s a horrible time of day for photos but I try. I’m already feeling better with the steroid, yay!!! But still used the buggy to get around….still weak. Ok well I’m gonna finish this up. Y’all take care now, ya hear? Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. Ps……tonight is the episode of the Bastrop Fire on Extreme Makeover Home Edition.