I had two internet surprises today. First, this morning, as I’m drinkin my tea and scrolling through Facebook on my Iphone, I see my name…then a picture. It was Hoegger Goat Supply, announcing their new fiber blogger! It was one of the photos for the December blog. I was tickled. Shared it of course, and one of my friends said…Sheri, you’re famous….haha, not….that’s pretty much what I told her. How funny. The second internet surprise happened the same way…..scrolling through Facebook and WHAM…………………there’s my dad. He’s been dead for years.
Took my breath away. He wasn’t my father, he was my dad. My father is also dead. But my Dad, now….that guy was something. So stoic. So strong in mind and assurance. He was the manager of Sears. He was a rock……in both terminologies…….he didn’t express much emotion. I remember my mom once telling me….Sheri, he cares more than you know, he even cries about you at night. I looked up to him. I also fought with him sometimes as I got older and had to live with them. He and I would get into some heavy duty arguments. Me screaming…him shouting…awful…..but I loved him and he knew that. And even if he wasn’t my father, I knew that he loved me. Or I know it now…that’s more accurate. And on this Thanks-forgiving Day…..I say….Dear Dad…for anything you ever did that may have harmed me in any way….intentionally or unintentionally…..I forgive you. And I ask you to forgive any intentional or unintentional inflictions of harm to you. We now have clear energy. Thank you Dad, for loving me in whatever ways you could….for handling an emotionally unstable child in a fairly good manner. When I got my farm……I was so excited for you to come visit….because you grew up on a farm…..but you died. I forgive you for that too. Love you Dad.
The new generation of grandkids called him PapPap, but to me, he would never be that. Could never be. There could only be one. MY PapPap.(My Mothers father) I’ve always said that my PapPap was my favorite person in the world. He loved me. Really loved me. Thanks for the reminder….I needed that. Thanks Dad. I adored my PapPap, and thought he lit the world. He was sick my whole life but I never noticed. He was full of life….playing the organ…taking me and Lori to Pittsburgh Pirate games….yes…we saw Roberto Clemente!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Family Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With his little one…coulda been more than one…my memory is fading a bit. Oh, I was just a little girl, but I loved Roberto Clemente.
My PapPap believed in me as no one else ever had and he was my only light in a dark world. A dark world of the mind…in reality….I lived in a very nice house with 3 sisters, a mom and a dad. I should have been grateful, but my mind wouldn’t let me. It told me I was no good, unworthy of everything, anything. Lower than low. He made that go away when I saw him and I loved him dearly for that. While my mother was pregnant with me, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This tumor formed a handlike figure, with tributaries to allow blood to flow. That’s how I remember them telling it. This allowed him to live for 19 more years….long enough to move to Texas to be with us and to see me married. Didn’t get to see my babies, but life is life….and he is gone. Thank you PapPap for loving me so deeply.
Tonight, my Bubba…a Pyrenees, was running and playful. I haven’t seen that much spunk in him in ages. He tried to play with Blue, but when Mama goes in the RV, Blue goes in the RV. They’re not very old, but they work hard. I’m thinking that maybe Bubba is troubled by his hips. Not for sure entirely yet though. Liberty kittys snake bite is healing nicely and oh ya….I woke up this morning, made my hot tea, was headed to my chair when I stopped to pet some kittens. I heard another kitten crying. Finally decided it was outside the front door. Opened the door, and there…..trapped between the door and the screen door…..was the Smooch. I texted hubby who was out shredding pasture and he said he went out the back door. I remember unlocking it. So…………………………that means that the poor kitten spent the entire night trapped between the doors. And tonight….she tried to race to the door when I was letting Blue out. Oh my. Got my hands full.
I don’t know why I’m up so late these days. 3 am usually by the time it’s all said and done. Shoot, right now it’s 20 till and I still have the ball throwing bit coming up and….I’m not ready yet. Jeesh!!! Better put this down so I can get sleepy. Nightie Thanks-forgiving Night people!!!!! 2:44am Hello Angels……Hello Michael.
Well, here at this house, it’s a slow and easy T-Day. Hubby was out shredding pasture when I woke so it was up to me to deal with the turkey. First time ever! I do all the other parts, but not the turkey. When hubby came in, he asked if I got the neck and the package from inside. What package? Haha. He got it. Then he wanted to know if I washed it. Wash it? Wash the turkey? Nope….wasn’t in the directions I found on Google. I floured the bag, buttered the turkey and put salt and pepper on it. That’s good enough. He’s in there cooking the gizzards and neck and I refuse to have them, so in the end…they come out and the gravy gets made with the newly made broth. Didn’t get many of the tradition items at the store this time…not even a can of cranberries. Oh well, it will still be good. I just don’t have the usual excitement…all that Native American stuff took care of that.
Everyone got extra hay for the holiday….ha, it’s all I had extra. Things are finally calming down in the youngster breeding pen. Ha, and now it’s the other pen with all the head butting…now that Milly and Mimi are in there!!! Guess the only ones who truly got a treat today were the Littles. Let them out to graze the yard and they were climbing the fence when they saw me headed their way. They knew. And everyone in the front pen was very sad at the loss of the forever sickly little goat, and they cried more at her loss than any other I’ve seen. I told Sugarbee to go to the light and she would see my PapPap and Grammy and my Dad and all the other goats that had crossed the rainbow bridge. There. I said her name. Okie dokie….had my quota of death for this year…all done, thank you very much.
Without giving thanks to God…..for saving me, pulling me out of the pit of depression, and helping me to want to live…..without that……..there would be no me. No MamaSheri. No blog, no goats. Therefore…..the main thing I have to give thanks for is………………Thank you God for loving me enough to heal me and make me a useable gift. I love you. And one more……a big huge thank you to all of you who take time out of your day to sit awhile with me. I’m very grateful. Signing off in my chair, at YeeHaw Ranch.