I’m weepy lately. Not really sad, just easily brought to tears….like hovering on the edge of emotion. I’m not concerned about it and I’m not even wondering why. I’m looking at it as an energy shift. Only explanation that makes sense…. I’m watching the movie…..The Cure Is, the Movie. At first I was a bit perturbed that my daughter sent it to me. She knows how much I know….why is she asking me to waste my time ….an hour, by watching something I already know. Turns out…..thanks baby……turns out it was more than a reminder, it was even enlightening. It made sense and I’m taking several things away from it. I probably need to watch it again soon cuz my brain latched onto one aspect and it carried thru the movie. Love myself. I am the closest to loving myself that I’ve ever been…but I’m not there. If I was, I would have no doubt, fear or anger.
Another thing that struck me, was the mention of the heart. Y’all remember, I’ve been talking about the heart in the past few months. As I heard it this time though, my hand went to my heart and I felt a catch, a skip in my heart. I felt love. Then I remembered the movie Phenomenon, where he is talking to the lady and he says….how would you hold a baby if you wanted to comfort it, and she places the imaginary baby on her shoulder, and she begins to rock back and forth and as she does, she pats the baby’s back, in the upper center, directly over the heart and since she had no actual baby in her arms, her hand was patting her own heart. That is somewhat what I just experienced and the flash was that I could do it again. And again. And again.
We can either live like everything’s a miracle or nothings a miracle. That is what I have chosen to do and have done for many years now. I guess it hurt me when my son couldn’t believe in my miracle, but thanks to Summer Girl, I now realize that I don’t need him to believe. Maybe times like those is where a good short silent mantra would come in handy…..when someone is poo pooing your miracle. Ya. Ahhh, I got it!!!!…….the good short silent mantra………………thank you. I already say thankyou silently many times a day…..but I need to amp it up…amp it way up.
Just so you’ll know, I am perfectly aware that everything and anything could be done with enough belief. I don’t think everyone knows this. I know it, but now I’m ready to “Know” it. Funny, I just changed my words cuz they were generated toward negative. (I know it, but I haven’t yet figured out how to “Know” it, was what I’d been about to say before I changed it.) So I changed it from haven’t figured out……to…..ready to know. Interesting, yes. Important, yes. Continue, yes. 😀 Let’s try……saying it Until we believe it. Make it into being. Shape it like clay. Not sure how much of that made sense…it is 2:04am after all. Night night and wow, live fully people…with all your gusto!!! Oh, and you might watch that movie. I guess it’s free the first time, then costs after that unless you buy it. I loved it.
Heart vs brain. Which one has the real power? When I had the thought about it…I listened to hear where the voice was coming from. The answer? Definitely in the head area. Of course I always thought this…but I never actually checked. So the heart is the main organ? But then why is the soul, or head voice, in the head? The heart is the main organ? I’m not sure thinking with the heart is gonna be easy, but they never said enlightenment was easy….just reachable. So, the heart is the main MAIN organ. Fascinating. Ye know, they told us this, but I, like most people took it as in life giving, life taking…and I guess it can mean the exact same if applied spiritually…….life giving, life taking. Feel with the heart, think with the heart. My daughter and others have been trying to tell me this for some time now. I get it tonight. It’s epiphany night. 3am
One goat sheared!!!! Yay!!! Levi. Of course nobody was around, so I did my calls. They are getting better. Better and louder and they bring those boys every time! Goatie goatie goatie, as high pitched as I can make it and the rolling R sound, very loudly. No food is promised with these 2 calls. Just a come to mama call. They came running and even then, it still took a minute to grab one. I wanted Junebug or Levi. Cathy was only available for a short time, so we set to shearing quickly. Halfway through, I touched his backend, reaching for a curl and it startled him…he strained forward and over the stanchion tipped. Again!!! Not sure why I was the only one near, but I grabbed his curls…..with my hurt hand, and kept him from landing….by holding those curls, till Jesse and Cathy came to the rest of the rescue. Can’t let him break his neck just cuz I have an injury, now can I? He was fine.
Went for a bale of hay and once again, I’m scratching my head wondering how in the heck I’m supposed to get them after Jesse leaves. Guess hubby will have to load it each weekend for me. He’s gonna love that. That’s what happens when you don’t talk to me before you buy stuff for my goats. And he isn’t learning from the past, no he isn’t. He says he got the square bales cuz he knew I had a hard time with the round bales. Problem is, he’s behind a year. Last year, I finally figured out how to get the hay off the big bales, so that’s what I was expecting since we don’t have a barn….that or to continue buying by the week at TSC. Oh well.
I was hoping that once again I was done with this subject, but alas….no. It does have a humorous tint to it this time though. I went to visit with the front girls, and the Death was in my zenbuggy path. I stopped it, kept Blue in, and was just gonna go wide to the left and around when I was done. So, in the pen I go, I visit, take my photos, look again at Etta……time to leave and……….the Death is now……at the gate….surrounded by 4 pups. I’m like…..oh crap, I’m trapped. The snarling was going and I texted Jesse to say I was trapped. I was laughing. I walked around laughing for a minute, then said screw it. I pretended there was nothing wrong, talked to the girls telling them that I fed them yesterday, as I’m going out the gate…..then I hugged the gate till I was far enough away, then over quickly to the buggy. Safe!!! Lofffl. (laughing out friggin friggin friggin loud).
Time to go. Oh ya, they say the states wanting to secede has now reached 47. Interesting. Finally got my newest butterfly drawn on last night. Tried on the way to the festival and decided bumpy roads added to injured right hand should equal….wait for the butterfly. 😀 Peace out my friends. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.