Goodbye….My Love

When the lady Dr said if Lovey didn’t react to the fluids in a certain way, we should euthanize him and I said no, I would take him home and she said that kind thing to do would be to euthanize him……because he would be in pain. All I could think at that moment was…..why don’t they feel that way about humans. Seriously!!! What’s up with that? This has been a question that has troubled me my whole life. They shoot horses and give a shot to cats dogs, etc that ends the animals life in less than 10 seconds, painlessly. Yet we humans are forced to suffer.

On our way to the hospital now but the Doc already called and said the fluids didn’t help any so they’re gonna want us to do the deed. At this point I’m in denial, I’ll be honest. I haven’t even tried reiki on him. On the other hand, with so many people praying and he had no improvement, this might be a case of….it’s his time and he completed his mission. I’ll ponder on just what his mission was, as I go through the day. Dang, we’re here already. Crapola.

Well, Lovey is back in his playpen and we are nearly home. He looked really awful at the hospital but as soon as we got him in the RV, he perked up. We stopped at a picnic area to eat lunch and put Lovey down in the grass. He stood and each time one of us would walk away, Lovey followed. Very slow and wobbly but he followed. As I say on the grass eating, he stood as close as he could get to me then leaned his head on my chest. He stood like that until he finally laid down with his head in my lap just as we were preparing to leave. He’s napping now. We don’t know what to do. We don’t want to let go.

There are people suggesting a necropsy(autopsy), to see if it could be somethin hurting the herd. If I truly 100% believed that my herd was in danger, I would probably do it. Thing is, I personally have a thing against autopsy. Want it tattoo’d on my body….no autopsy. Tell everyone I get close to……no autopsy so there’s no slip ups. But Lovey was born sick, his brother was born healthy. That can happen anytime. Also, it wouldn’t tell us why the copper is so high so to me it’s pointless and against my soul wishes.

This is the last time I blog with Lovey alive. He is passing now. We called the vet when we got home. He had perked up to be with us. He stayed perky till we neared home and then he slid. I carried him over to see Gandhi and the Littles and they all came and sniffed him. Had him in the playpen but it was driving me crazy that I couldn’t get close enough to him so hubby put him in my lap. We are waiting on the Doc. Oh God, he’s here.

It’s done. 5 seconds, in my arms. He was in my arms in my chair for the last hour of his life. Now he is buried along the girls front fence line, but in the garden. Jesse dug the hole and put the dirt back in. Hubby is gathering big rocks so nobody will dig my baby up. Me? I’m just sitting here in the dirt next to him. So beautiful even in death. The kitty’s knew and were climbing all over him after it was done and we had him on the floor to remove the catheter. Finally Wiz curled up with him…..then began to give Lovey a kitten bath….even pulled a piece of hay out for him. Hasn’t hit me yet….. I’m just kinda stunned. Ya, that’s how I feel, stunned.

The baby is buried and hubby and I have been reminiscing about his life. He wanted to remind me that even though he was the littlest, that he was the leader. The other goats followed Lovey when they were out for greenies. And that Lovey started following me more than him….after I fell in love that one night. I will process this eventually, but for now I think I’ll just pretend he’s still here. Get back to shearing, back to regular life on the farm. Thank you all so so much for thinking of us and praying for Lovey. Thank you. Thank you. Signing sadly off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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35 thoughts on “Goodbye….My Love

  1. heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss. But you loved him and allowed him to pass with such tenderness… thats was wonderful. I feel your shock and pain, sending you light and love right now. Having lost my Wicket bunny just two weeks ago I can related all too well. ((Hugs))

  2. You have not only touched me and showed me so much about living and loving our fur babies, you have also now showed me how to love them enough to say goodbye. Bless you for loving as you do and for sharing with us so we may all learn to let go when that day comes, as it will, for us all

  3. I have lived that pain more times then I wish to count but I can say that with each loss it has taken time to feel the pain and then cry till I feel no more tears can come but then a peace comes that you can see all the great times you had with them even if it was only for an hour or two (I have been through those too) and your heart grows for knowing that you have give you, your love and your soul to another and they give that back… I send love and peace to you and your farm tonight – Yes, the animals will need time to be sad as well. I hope your flock is safe and just know sometimes the wee one’s are not to be here as long as we would wish. Blessings Dear One

    • Ah Grace, I know you know. Bless your heart. Thank you. Lovey would be honored as I am to know how deeply people have cared about us. ❤

      Sheri Lee Curly Locks Ranch

  4. Sheri Having lost animals I dearly loved I can feel your pain. Your journey with Lovey is truly inspirational even though it did not last anywere near as long as you and all of us would have liked. Thanks so much for sharing it with us, I feel like you shared a part of your wonderful soul with us through Lovey. I really look froward to meeting you some day. I wish there was something i could do to ease your pain, but only time and fond memories will do that. Sending hugs and prayers.

  5. I am so so sorry, the tears are flowing, even as I clicked to read your blog they started, I knew it was going to be sad, I just didn’t realize how it would affect me. I can’t even imagine how you are doing. He was a great little goat that touched a lot of people’s lives. Love and hugs

  6. I am so sad and choked up to hear of your loss. It never gets any easier to lose a furry friend as they bring so much happiness to our lives. You will be in our prayers tonight.

  7. Sheri, I mourn your loss of Lovey with you. Such a sweet face, and gentle soul. Run Lovey, run free. Tell Teddy to wait for me.

  8. Pain and suffering are only helpful to those beings in the 3rd density (humans). Animals are 2nd density and give us the opportunity to practice compassion by caring for them (amongst many other gifts). Putting them down when the time comes is a compassionate caring act that ends there pain and suffering. It is a gift both to them and to yourself. Feel whatever it is you feel and be with this experience, then let it go. Life goes on and you are better for it! Love and Light mamasheri ♥

  9. As painful of a story as it is to read, you make life so beautiful Sheri. Really think all the pictures are so special- and such kind tenderness can be seen in your eyes and Andy’s eyes. Lovey will always be there with you along with all the animals we’ve ever loved. Sending you extra hugs.

    • Thank you so much. It’s been hard but we talk about him alot so he’s not completely gone. I’m pulling his curls so I can spin yarn and make a cuddle memory pillow for hubby. Bless you and yours

  10. Hi, I feel so sad after reading your article, is all about life and death, being together and separated. But I am sure you’ll meet up with Lovey in heaven and chat about the past, about how heart warming person like you spreading the love to all being! thanks for your kindness sharing with us this inspiring post!

  11. Pingback: Gosh…its been a Whole YEAR!!!…………….. | MamaSheri's Blog

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