I’m watching Soul Surfer for the 2nd time tonight, the movie about the young surfer girl who had her arm bit off by a shark. I’ve seen this movie many many times and each time, I am still stunned at this one scene. She and her friend are in the water, on their boards, not surfing, just shooting the breeze….just like when the shark came. My amazement stems from her or their even, courage to sit in the water again. This is a true story, so I’m allowed to be amazed. Man, that’s pure courage and faith there. Faith that it won’t happen again. Does lightning strike a person twice? I mean…two separate times. I’ll bet there’s been at least one case.
Now I’m watching Daylight, the tunnel that blows up with people trapped inside….well, it always reminds me that things happen exactly as they need to for the play to be played out. Like for instance, the main gal must have those experiences with the cockroaches in her apartment, the moment typing her play, the phone call from the husband which upset her, and the coup de gras…the rat in the underwear drawer. All of these things must transpire in order for her to end up the hero of a huge story. Yes, this one is fiction, but it’s a true representation of things needing to happen in the right order, the right timing, the exactness of it all.
I’m not sure I emphasized how rare it was for me to be listening to music last night. I usually only hear music in a vehicle….any vehicle. Last night I obeyed spirit and opened the CD, supposedly meant for another time, and it was the right time. I had fun, here in my chair. And if you’re wondering….I do a lot of stuff, but in between it all, I’m in my chair. And the TV is Always on. I usually only listen to music when a goat or an animal has died. This has been a rough year. In the 3rd year, I lost my first. This year, I lost 3, well, 4 but I meant 3 babies. I take the blame for one. I knew she looked skinny and wasn’t getting as much as her sister, but I didn’t supplement her. She was the HerdQueens baby and I didn’t supplement her. I learned my lesson so don’t come screaming at me. The deaths are very hard on me. I truly blame myself for all of them….if only I’d known to triple the cow dose, Duchesse would be alive….if only I’d come home a few minutes sooner, and Bella might be alive…..if only we’d come home a few minutes earlier and I’d supplemented her, a combination, Kya might still be alive and Cherub? I guess, if I hadn’t put her with her mom that night…but she woulda died here screaming… instead of being with her mom. I feel guilt. I know I’ve told these tales before….but only by me writing about them again, do you know that I am still haunted. I mean Bella was dead for goodness sake, and I still blame myself. I wasn’t here. She was dead when I found her. I tried to bring her back. It was pointless at the get go but I couldn’t stop. An hour, I tried to revive a dead baby for an hour. Ok…how’d we get here. Yikes.
Oh ya…music. I told ya….the day the TV died, I listened to music instead and I ended up bawlin! That’s why I now find myself watching this horrible, crappy, in your face, live camera feel, yukky aSs TV. No, we didn’t take it back. We’ve had things come up since then on the weekends and I’m still watching this thing. For someone who likes TV as much as I do, it’s pretty disconcerting!!! Back to the music. I’m trying to keep a theme here. I was once told by a psychic in Sedona, whom we went out on the land with….that music was going to be big in my life. He also mentioned a big boat. My daughter plays the sweetest music and sings with a realness of spirit and my son loves electro music with an intensity I’ve never seen. Believe you me, there’s been a lot of music in my life here, in this house, on this land that God told me was my Noah’s Ark….ha, a big boat. (there’s a possibility I’ve said this before…hey, I’m not a young whippersnapper anymore!)
Oh wow…I see…in this moment I have a prime example of fate vs. choices vs. god spirit…I was just about to make a post on a FB group for my high school ….not only the high school, but the year of graduation…Class of ‘79, which I just found tonight, after freeing my name yesterday. Anyway, I was about to post there and say.…Hello, my name was _____…….back in the day. I retrained myself. It’s a fork in the road. Do I take it? See what I mean? I don’t think I’ve ever had this happen, where I so clearly saw the fork in the road….one leading to the point where I would say….if it happened it was meant to be……the other being the wrong way. I didn‘t do it, that must be the right fork. Oh dear, it’s bedtime. Way past, in fact. Goodnight and enlightening dreams. 3:24am
Here’s how it went. I got Cathy to come with me to help keep Lovey and Gandhi in the pen while I got Moonee out. Yes. I went back inside for a little while then came out armed with peanuts. By then he’d eaten some greenies and had that need out of his system. His love for peanuts is apparently greater than his fear of the dogs, because he followed the peanut. He made a few stops, but follow he did…with the whole passel of dogs to boot. Across the pasture…..the opening of a gate, into the alley, then right into the pen. Thank you God and Jane for peanuts!!!!!
So, he’s in there. At first it was all about the peanuts, then I poured their grain, so it was about the grain. Then it was…who is this….why are you eating our food….why are you here…..I’m gonna ram you in the side like I just learned with the girls…..let’s fight……let’s eat….let’s fight….let’s eat. In one instance, he and a gal both rared up……bonked heads then both heads went down and immediately ate some grass. That’s when I left them to work it out. Cathy later called to see if I’d moved him. I said yes, she said…thought so. Poor baby is crying already……missing his Lovey. If I have to, I will move Lovey too, but it’s not the plan.
The fire is still very much a threat to my 6 babies in Washington. I am staying positive and praying a lot. It needs to get put out soon because Tracee has to leave on the 21st for a week!!! The goats will be alone. End of the month. That’s what I’m waiting for…end of the month.
Ok, on to even more such news. My 19 yr old son, finally gets a job, has a sorta ok home and is maturing. Now, his new job won’t let him go to his court date tomorrow or he loses the job. But if he doesn’t go, he goes to jail…AND loses the job. He’s planning on not going. And the bail bond? In my name. And on to my daughter. She called earlier, but I had Just woken up so she said she’d call later. I said ok cuz I could tell something was wrong and I needed a few minutes to wake up. I still haven’t heard from her but she made a FB post that the rug had been pulled out from under her and she no longer had a home where she is. Shoot….. The river is swiftly flowing.
Top it off…..me thinks we have some rain on the way, because I can say….ouch. Well, I went out to check again, and all is quiet on the breeding front. Moonee wasn’t crying, in fact he was standing next to Yazhi when I arrived. I sat down in the high weeds to watch but they knew I was there and just poked around at the weeds. I did see a tail wag, but coulda just been a twitch cuz she was nowhere near Moonee. Well, now that that has calmed down, time for my childrens lives to calm down. One can wish and hope?! Signing off at Curly Locks Ranch.