I forgot to tell ya, I had a chat with my sister the other night and the conversation eventually went to my son Jesse. She put 100% blood traits of his dead father down as cause for how he turned out. No allowance whatsoever for the way he was raised. Nope, it’s all in the genes. Let’s just say…..we had to change the subject before it got out of hand. My whole family is full of admiration for my mom for raising him. They don’t care that she stole him. She’s like this saint that took in the downtrodden and gave of her time to raise him. Then of course, when he didn’t turn out as she expected, she threw him out and washed her hands of him. Seriously? You don’t think that possibly him having a mom one minute and the next minute he doesn’t, at age 3, MIGHT, …just might have an impact on him? Or how bout letting him eat what he wanted to the point of near exclusion of anything healthy…. Or how about no discipline. Hmmm, could that affect a person? Nope….it’s all in the genes.
Well, I moped most of the day. I ‘m just staggered by it. It’s a flamuggin of sorts that I’m not accustomed to lately. My daughter called, and I laughed for the first time, but then she disliked me telling her 2 of my Pretties had poopie butts and zing, smile gone. But then….Valerie to the rescue! Valerie is an internet friend from Montana, yay Montana! We ended up in private message and during that chat, she decided to make me a sweater coat. The one she showed me was absolutely gorgeous….made from recycled sweaters!!! How cool is that? It’s for my birthday! Not only cool, how sweet is that? We talked about colors and in the end….., I said….just think of me and do what you do. Too sweet for words.
People, I stopped telling you about the TV, but I gotta say, that it just said the words….Cool, and sweet, as I was typing them. I know it’s odd, but I’m not crazy, it really does do it. My point is…how close together were the words…cool, and sweet…let’s count. 11. 11 words later, and the TV said the word Sweet. Now do you understand? Ah, God, where are my babies? Why aren’t they here? My friend Mea has been seeing oodles of deer lately…in groups, and I have been seeing deer….not in groups, but in unusual circumstances. We are connected. She said she saw many deer today, more than even usual. I’m telling ya, she saw a mom with triplets…more than once! Anyway, she thought that might be a sign, that she saw so many today. But a sign of what? Let’s read. Acute senses. Gentleness in situations. That’s the bottom line of the two books I just read from. Oh. Medicine Cards… by Jamie Sams & David Carson….and….Animal-Speak. So, I decided to check www.animalspirits.com too and Ya… Alternative paths to a goal…it was actually the last one on the list but it’s where my spirit/eyes went. Connection to the woodland Goddess, sacrifice, power of gratitude and giving. At this moment, I’m grateful to Valerie. She lifted me up, when I was down. So touching. People need that. Know anybody who needs a lift? I do. Her name is Colleen. Let’s see…how can I lift Colleen? Lemme think on it. Ability to listen.
When the girls go out to graze in the evenings, I told you, some stay behind, but eventually, they all end up in the shady spot. Yesterday, I saw Mimi walking out towards the group, with Maya behind her…not Milky. Very strange relationship there. Most moms keep their family close, but Mimi has had Nothing to do with Maya, since she had her next set of twins. Until yesterday. I guess that means she’s probably weaning Milky now and ready to accept Maya back into the fold? Ya. These family dynamics are so friggin interesting! My babies. They are almost here. (I’m being positive)
I’ve started myself a Christmas List. Every year, my husband and I go to Austin and make a certain round of stores….buy stuff and try unsuccessfully to hide it from each other, and that’s that. This year, I’m going to change it up. Instead of getting things he Thinks I want….I’m going to give him a big huge list of things I really Do want, and see what happens!!! Yay for me! Like…one I just now wrote down was…kinds of tape. Woohoo! Stocking stuffers even! This is gonna be fun. …haha, as the TV says…let’s do this! Teehee.
I believe the consensus of the day, between post comments on FB and here… and TV, and my own gut….is, that the babies would have suffered, had they flown that DELTA AIRLINES flight. One friend said she got the shivers when she read my words about the shield of protection and safety and a minute later, Tracee texting saying they said NO. It’s how I live my life. It’s my belief system. It’s my everything, really. So, yes, I know that it was not meant to be…at that moment in time…and I know that those babies are mine and they are coming here one way or another. Oh ya…one minute before I said the prayer last night…someone, an unknown to me person, commented on my post and said….. Delta loses luggage, don’t trust them. Irony. Well, sweet people…..I didn’t get much sleep last night so, sayonara and sweet dreams. 1:55am
I’m watching the movie…Mr. Holland’s Opus. It makes me cry every single time I see it. And it Always makes me wonder to myself, what is my Opus? I always thought it would be my writing. In the end though, well, not really the end, but anyways…. I’m thinking maybe it’s much simpler than that. I’m thinking maybe it is in the lives I touch. Whether it be with writing, or photos, or a kind word of inspiration. I think that’s what I have to offer. A little touch of Sheri here and there, sparkling like a citrine crystal…. With a rainbows ray of hope inside. Awe, lol, a rainbow opus. Ha, makes me think of an opal. Ya, I’m goofy.
Last night, when I was looking up deer…my eyes went first to the last item on the list, remember? Alternative paths to a goal. Well, I know now what that message meant. Another possibility to get the babies here has been laid on the table. It’s not a done deal by any means, but it has potential. We shall see.
My husband has been very productive today. He has finished shredding the L, and has progressed to the yard. But the bestest thing is… the dead refrigerator with all the dead food, is no longer sitting on my porch assailing me with odor every time I step out the back door. YeeHaw! It’s been there for weeks! I’m really loving this huge dumpster being here. He let Gandhi, Lovey and Moonee out this morning and they roamed the yard for about 8 hours…Lordie, they are covered in sticker burrs. Poor baby Lovey has them all under his chin. I’m going to have to go to Tractor Supply tomorrow for some spray stuff I recently heard about that releases the burrs from the curls. He’s got to be miserable. Gandhi’s are mostly on his topknot, and Moonee, well, no curls to stick to, so he’s sticker free! Oh boy, fleece washing is gonna be fun this year.
Lovey didn’t want me to leave today. Just stood there looking at me with this pitiful face. I remember the day he stole my heart. Nope, not when he was born and I was saving his life….was all the way further in time to when I moved him outside to the pen. He was so vulnerable and I was torn about putting him outside, but chewing wires can be dangerous so I had no choice. Yup, it was that first late night bottle, and him crying as I walked away.
Ahhh, well, Jesse just called. He can’t stay with his brother anymore because they are fighting and considering divorce. It is moments like this that make my blood boil at the thought of my mother. Guess there’s no going back. I don’t know how to forget the multitude of ways that she hurt me and my son….oooh, and it’s the gift that keeps on giving. I’m glad she’s not talking to me right now. I don’t have anything nice to say. Don’t know what to do. Husband says…why let him live here when he can’t work from here? He has no car, no license…revoked and $1000 fine before he can get that. The DJ things I bought him before he left here…gone. Hubby says no to him sitting in the attic all day, sleeping all day. I am half an hour each way from any town. What to do? Signing off at Curly Locks Ranch. Oh ya…. Happy Birthday to me come midnight.