Analyzing, processing and pondering. Learning, sifting, changing.Harped at and lectured and wisdom given and rejected. Changing, rearranging. Wow. I am up to the challenge. I’m also giving myself a pep talk. Gosh. Overwhelmed would be the word.
My son called and had been drinking a bit, and decided to tell me how selfish I am. No, he didn’t say that, but in the end, he was right. While he was lecturing me on the phone, I told Scarlet, who I was also texting with and she agreed with Jesse. My husband is paying $200 a week for feed for goats that have produced No Money. None whatsoever. For 4 years. Well, no, not really, we had less goats then so less feed cost, but still. They’re right. I have been too low self esteemed to sell anything. I haven’t gone to any shows or festivals because I’m scared. F_k that. God, I’m so sick of being ruled by ego. By not being worthy. I haven’t been to a single market to sell my wares. I haven’t advertised a single goat for sale. I haven’t done a thing to promote my business. That changes now.
I have to reponder. RePonder everything I do. It’s kinda scary. I’ve got a shower full of fleece, why do I think nobody would want it? Why is my old low self esteem presenting itself here? Pondering. I think I’ve realized that I got carried away at the show. My new goal is unfeasible due to my age. As Jesse put it, who am I leaving it to? In my view, that contradicts with my viewpoint of life. I believe everything happens for a reason. Everything that has happened is supposed to happen. Where in that mentality, fit’s the theory of….who am I leaving it to. Pondering.
Wow, my mind is in a bender, blender. But I’m getting there. I have realized that I have been collecting goats. Not starting a business. So, after going out and doing a thorough analysis of my herd, I have made a keep and a sell list. It’s rough doing that. I’ve always treated this place as like a pet farm. They are all my babies. I have to sell my babies. I will start with the group for sales of angora goats. Next comes Craigslist and the last resort is the auction, which I now know where there is one 2 hours away. Gut wrenching stuff here folks. I know of one lady who sells gorgeous pelts. Think about it….sell the mohair for say, 40-50 dollars a fleece, or sell the pelt for 90? See what I mean about thinking of this as a business? It’s hard.
Luckily, hubby is now on board the goat train, jeesh, took forever. It was Lovey. He loves Lovey. He also reminded me today that Lovey and Damey are his and he’s keeping them. 🙂 Should I ask him if he’s going to shear them too? Hahaha. Another decision I’ve made is that regardless of the fact that shows and judges judge by massive size….no. I just don’t want massive humongous goats. I’m a tiny girl. I personally think it’s wrong to judge that way. Why? Because at the show, I was able to pick the top goat out of a category lineup, and I also picked the bottom goat out of the same lineup. How could that be possible? Simple. I was looking at fleece and confirmation…PERIOD. The one who got last, was equal to the one who got first, but he was smaller.
What sweeties today. The three, Gandhi, Lovey and Moonee are all getting along like friends. Moonee may be big, but he knows Gandhi is the man. 🙂 We’re gonna try for a Thursday flight for the pinto babies, and Doc and Wyatt will join them, and Georgia and Pearl will join the Pretties after Moonee has done his thing in there. They are too young and don’t want to take a chance on them getting pregnant. The reason I’ve decided to put Moonee with the Pretties, is that I will be creating color carriers of their babies, and possible more recessives, which I‘m short on. I’m finally starting to understand all that dominant recessive stuff.
Yup, I have fought this business stuff tooth and nail and I’m to the point of no choice. So, website, here we come. We, being the goats. Gosh, hope I haven’t bored you to death with all this, but it’s what’s swirling in my brain at the moment.
Welcome to my blog Portugal…I just love new countries coming here. Ok, well, out for another goat check, then dinner time. So I should probably say Signing off at Curly Locks Ranch. P.S., I did write some non goat related stuff late last night, but alas, it was hogwash…told ya, I’m goatified at the moment.