Uh oh, sinking sand. Staying in your comfort zone is sinking sand. I’m awake, at 5 minutes till 3am, wondering why, and then I hear that message. Lordie. That usually means Spirit wants me to do something. Something out of my comfort zone. What could possibly draw me out of my safe place with my safe animals and my safe chair? I can only think of 2 things. Either going to talk to the Elders of a tribe? Or simply going on a road journey. I know that’s not feasible at the moment, because my husband just said…hmmm, stop that thought in its tracks and reverse it. We have plenty of money, the debts are all paid and we or I can go anywhere we want.
I tried to do the tribe thing once…felt called…didn’t work. Why is this coming up again? No need to fret. This as all things, requires 3. Three times to repeat in some form. Ugggh, I really need to stay here. As I said, I’m the only one who knows the goats names! I feel this call often…to get out…meet people…never used to feel this way. I’m used to my solitary life. My country critter life. Speaking of that, I’ve been feeling a little of my pain lately and I heard it could be energy changes, due to the sun flares or the Venus Transit, or the Solstice, jeesh, so many, in so short a time! But then I saw on the news that there might be a hurricane a brewin in the Gulf. That is a much more me explanation. I am a human barometer. It’s that simple. They called it an undiagnosed muscle disease, after doing test after painful test. I’ve had 3 EMG’s. That means that they put needles in your muscles with wires attached. They love to place them like in the web of your hand or behind the knee, really painful places, all over your body. Then they zap you with electricity. Many times.
I’ve also had 2 spinal taps. They nearly killed me with the 2nd one. Long story. They finally deemed my pain undiagnosable until future time. Well, this is a future time and I am diagnosing it as….human barometer. Here’s the symptoms. Pain from ankle to just below knee and from hands just to the elbow. Worse on the left. It is somewhat similar to a headache, but more of a squeezing, pressure kind of pain. I remember once as a teen, sitting drunk in a bar in the ladies room, on the floor biting my finger and blood was dripping. The pain was so unendurable that I was trying to place pain somewhere else to top it. Did that often. My first ex husband used to have to punch me in the muscles of my legs. He cried. He hated it.
I took 2 10 mg valiums to knock me out when it was bad and I smoked marijuana when it wasn’t quite valium bad. Then I went to the ER for shots when it was extreme. This last year has been heaven. Just heaven. It’s been so good, so seldom and so staying in the background, that I forget. I forget how bad it is, and then when it comes, it’s hard to readjust. To adjust to pain again. And listen, I’ve been alive for 50, nearly 51 years. I’ve encountered all the usuals: headache, migraine, toothache, paper cut, earache, broken bones, foot cramp, babies, flu and double pneumonia. Well that’s all I can think of at the moment, but this tops em all except childbirth.
It’s so late…..3:10. Why am I still here? Writing? 15 minutes. That’s how long I’ve been writing this. I keep contemplating the fact that I’ve given out just about all of my wisdom. Do I have anything left to say? I’ve given you the most personal of personal….my two experiences…what else is there? Ah shoot, just kidding folks! I think I can go all day!!!!! For those of you outside of America, that is an expression. Go all day. Meaning…keep on keeping on…Love it. I’m not sure how y’all who are using a translator are understanding. I use very poor English and lot’s of contractions and made up words and hick town sayings. Like daggum. Daggum isn’t really a word, per se. It’s a southern expression. Means the same as…shit, shoot, bumfluggins and poopersquats. Just kidding, poopersquats is another country-ism.
And Btw, I’ve been erasing all the (TV) marks I put while I type at night. It makes for a haltering storyline and it just sounds stupid. But it’s true. I don’t quite know what to make of it. I mean seriously, the TV, repeats my thoughts the second I think them. What could that possibly mean? I always took it to mean that I was in exactly the right spot doing exactly the thing I was supposed to be doing…but jeesh, its even gotten to the point where it gives me the thought I was about to say…and,….Now, it gives me the words that I’m searching for….and I type those words and the rest flows like an easy river. I ponder and ponder this. How, I mean…how? No longer interested in the why, pretty well got that one in hand, but the HOW?
Speaking of river….in the Hopi Prophecy video…I assume you watched it….the river they speak of…isn’t a river in the way that you know it. When they say don’t hold on….go to the middle of the river…let go of the shore…they mean, the River of Life….let life flow…don’t rule it. Follow the signs….the synchronicities. Follow the whisper. The tiny tiny whisper and have a mustard seeds worth of faith. And it is 3:20 and Spirit says DONE.
Well, this human barometer is in some pain today. Yup, her name is Debby and she’s headed this way. Usually I see a frog on my porch when there’s gonna be a hurricane, but not this time. A few weeks ago, there was one, not on the porch, but near the porch step. That hurricane was not coming anywhere near us. Where’s the frog? Maybe tonight.
We stopped in to check on the progress of my truck. Uggh. I had to remind him that I was given the truck in October and told it would be ready by January. Here’s the truck as of today.
Had my smoothie, yay. Stopped by the Yarnarama today. Can you believe I have a top of the line yarn shop within 15 minutes of me? I’m in the middle of nowhere! Stopped in today to see the new changes and discuss selling fleeces to her.
I decided that since feed is so expensive, to cut out all grain to the goats on pasture. When the grass dies in winter, I’ll go back to the grain. Saved a hundred bucks! OOOh, but the noise! They crying. The screaming. What? No food? Poor poor babies. Gotta be a shock. There are 3 bonuses to this. One, they were getting fat. Two, the $100 savings. Three, no need to ram each other! Still, I feel bad. I know how rough habits are and they are in the habit of getting the grain every day. Still need to feed the ones in pens, but there’s not many. Well, it’s just about bottle time, so….Signing off at Curly Locks Ranch. Oh and P.S., nothing little about the pain anymore. Hurricane feeler extraordinaire!