I go through time periods where I don’t really learn, I sit with what I know. I experiment and I also get first hand practice with the world at large. I discover what I now know. What I now believe, because I’ve experienced it in person. And then,…..I am sent on another journey, either a Spirit journey, or a learning journey. I am on a learning journey at the moment. The path of this journey seems to be connected, to be fourfold. Four items of study that appear connected so far. Owl, Shaman, Snake and Goddess. These four things are coming into my world on a steady basis.
Today, in the grocery store, it was as if I was being spoken to, by the things my eyes rested upon. It started with a bottle of wine, rose petal wine. My spiritual name is Rose. Next I saw Goddess, then Procrastinate. How accurate. I do procrastinate in connecting with the feminine. Then the words, Primal roots. This is new. Brand new. Spirit has found another outlet to reach me. I did see two more words, but I hesitate. Alright, here they are. Secret societies and then, crushable. In my spiritual journey of 13 years, I have delved into the secret societies many times, of course, the obvious one I feel drawn to is the Rosicrucian’s. Rose. The other two most commonly read about by me are the Freemasons and the Knights Templar. Not sure why I saw those last two words because I don’t feel much of a connection to them today. The others tell me something though.
They tell me I am a Goddess, and roots would be like, birthright. So, why do I procrastinate seeking my inner goddess? Well, after 38 years of thinking that you are worthless, it takes awhile to re-define yourself. To re-wire your brain, to believe to your depths, a mustard seeds worth. It takes awhile to discover and decide that you are good, and even longer to believe you are worthy. Good and worthy, are not exactly goddess qualities. I can easier believe that I am an Owl goddess, but that’s because I am combining myself with another, and not relying on this soul alone. The painting I showed the other day, would be an example of an owl goddess to me. Maybe I should post it again here. I’m not sure where these 4 things will take me, but I know where I’ve already been. I know that many animals have been healed. I know that some humans have been healed and I now know that I can connect to a persons spirit at times. I know that I connected with my father in laws spirit when he was dying and I helped him get another week which was what he wanted. When he left, he was saying………weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I am eagerly awaiting the future knowledge that is coming to me. I am eagerly open to receiving new gifts of knowledge and purpose and ability. I love learning and I love sharing what I’ve learned. It is only now, in this time, that I have felt that some of this is shareable. That enough understanding has occurred on the planet. I remember as a child, babysitting for a small child who couldn’t walk. In my childness, I didn’t understand why this child couldn’t walk. When the parents left and my PapPap went downstairs, I went to this child and said, get up. Get up and walk. The child did get up and walk. My family assured me I had nothing to do with it. They didn’t like it when I spoke of it or asked questions about it. It was simply squished into the dirt. They were not ready.
I had another gift as a child. My dreams revealed peoples deaths. Nobody liked that one, especially me, because at the time, I thought I was creating their deaths. I thought I had killed them by dreaming of it. For those reasons, I shut down those gifts and have been struggling to receive them back for years now. In the meantime, I learned Reiki, all the way to Master. I rarely finished things in my life, it was funny that this one thing, I was adamant that I learn all the way, To finish. The one thing I finished…learning to heal. So now, even without my childhood gift, I can call myself a healer. Why didn’t I heal Kya or Cherub? Because I was so grounded, so here on earth with my love for them, that it didn’t even occur to me. I cried for them today. I wish I could go back and heal them. I struggle with that.
Today was typical Saturday stuff.
After I unloaded all the feed, I took some empty troughs to the girls house for the babies to play on. Haha, they are made of metal so make really loud noise when bumped. They will figure it out.
When I went outside this morning, my husband had let out Lovey and Gandhi. Lovey didn’t seem to have as much pep as usual, so I gave him some electrolytes. It’s just about bottle time now. So, Signing off at Curly Locks Ranch, with one last painting, oh, I mean photo…of Milky. 🙂