OLD BLOG, 2009 Spiritual Journey and Goats
I’m in the tenth year of a spiritual journey, and this new path is the most rewarding. To raise an animal, a goat in particular, and produce something from them, has been the most stunning of experiences. I sheared my girls with scissors and am in the process of creating a sweater, to keep me warm. I sheared a bit of my boy Damey on a Friday, washed it; dried it; picked the trash; pulled to spin-ability, spun, knitted, and handed my husband his HAT on Sunday afternoon! If I can do it, anyone can. The interesting thing to me is the new interest in things old, wise. So many people are being called to the old ways. I, personally, am spinning, on a charka, built by Myles, at Wyatt Wheels. Remember, I saw the goats in August, learned to knit in September, got my 7 goats in October, and now, have babies in March! Mr. Wyatt, of Wyatt Wheels, died this week, and I learned of it last night, and justly so, have named my new boy Wyatt. You see, I have a muscle disease and it affects my arms and legs, mostly legs. When I sat at a wheel at the Wyatt booth of a festival in October, I discovered how painful spinning would be for me. Calling to me, was a charka….a hand crank spinner. YES! We bought it, but it turned out that it was designed for cotton, short fiber…while I was needing something for long fiber. So, they were so kind and delighted to be asked such a thing, that they modified a portion of the charka and sent it to me as a gift. They made two, so I own a two of a kind. I can spin just about anything on it…silk thread, thin curly yarn, and thick any yarn. The babies were all born before I came out this morning, one, Ella, within minutes before. She was all wet and dragging her back leg. The twins that Donna had were completely dry and calm when I checked them. I kept making Ella get up and walk, and eat, and her leg is much improved. I wasn’t sure how Choxie and Donna were gonna take to me picking up their babies, but they did fine. It’s so cool. They are the most adorable things…and possibly teachable. You know, fresh clay?
Apparently I considered having my goats, as part of my spiritual journey! I’d have to say that doing something that gives your stomach butterflies, could be construed as being spiritual. Something so strong in you that you cannot go on if you cannot do it, or have it, whatever the circumstances may be. It’s rather like a primal urge. About a year or two after my Spiritual Journey began, I started to crave having a furry animal. I looked at alpacas and went to see some but I was scared of them. Next we looked at llamas. Nope, scared. I felt unfulfilled, even though my life was improving at every turn. This gut need was familiar. I’d already experienced it since I was 15. I wanted a baby. I loved everything about babies. The clothes, the little blankets, the baby smell, the soft skin. I wanted a baby at an early age.
After having my stomach pumped from a suicide attempt, the shrink told my husband (1st), not to let me have any babies. Right, like that was gonna work. Anyway, 10 miscarriages and 2 living children later, I now ached for an animal I had yet to find. Once again my daughter to the rescue. Six long years of aching, needing something I didn’t even know what. My daughter arrives with a nasty looking llama fleece she’d been given and goes through the phone book looking for someone to help her figure out what to do with it. She found a local fiber guild and announced she was going. She invited Cathy. I told her I wanted to go and she said no. I cried while they were gone. I didn’t understand why she didn’t want me to go. When she came home, she told me about these goats with curls on them. I HAD to see them, so called the lady and requested a visit. I went the next day. From the moment we pulled in and I saw the first one, I knew. I knew this was what I had been seeking. That was nearly 4 years ago.
See, this is something I can’t give you. I can however point it out for you, make it bigger and brighter in your mind so you will recognize it when it comes, or maybe recognize that it has already come. What is the thing you think about all the time. What is the dream of dreams for you? What makes your heart sing and dance when you do it, or even think about doing it. And if there is nothing like that in your life, wait. Wait for it. I believe this passion comes to every human. And as for my first passion, babies, hmmm, well, I have new ones every year!
As I said, I feel the passion in my gut, and I still feel it this very day. Today I went to meet an online friend who was coming to the area to buy goats. I went there to meet her in person, and once again, came home telling my husband about a goat I just HAD to have. Her name is Quigley. She is not a ‘normal’ goat. She has what they call folded ears, which means they fly out away from her head, like Yoda, and her legs are really really short. I tend to be attracted to things that are imperfect, like I always knew I was. I always considered myself a broken lady. So I gravitate towards other things supposedly, ‘broken’. Getting Quigley is not a done deal. The seller also has to say yes. If I don’t get her, she will be the ‘one that got away’, because I have wanted her since I first saw her a few months ago.
On a regular basis, I feel the need to create. Before I got the goats, I painted. I would stare at a blank canvas for hours and even days, until suddenly I would jump up, lay out certain colors on a paper plate, and whamo, I’m creating. It’s the same in the fiber world. Gosh I hate that word. Fiber is something you eat to go poo. Since I don’t have a follow a pattern type of brain, it’s always a surprise. And now that I’ve discovered the Koolaid dye, oh my. I was a fanatic. I made 14 different batches in just a few days. Now, I’m back to the staring. I’ve got the colors, just not the idea yet. And when it does come, sleep is elusive. I work until the wee hours of the morning, just can’t stop. This is what I mean by Passion. Not sex,… Passion. I guess in a way it is similar, the driving need, the nearly uncontrollable desire. Being consumed,… in a good way. Usually these Passions are for something that will let you express. Express yourself, free yourself, open yourself up. Let others SEE you. Don’t we all have the need to be SEEN? Seen and accepted. That simple feeling of, Yes, I see you, does wonders for the soul.
Today was a slow relaxed day. I decided that the best way other than showing you my goats, which I do on a regular basis, to show you my passion, is to show you some of the things I’ve created with my beautiful goats. Now, I’m not perfect, and still have a few self esteem issues and when I say I’m gonna show you my stuff, really what I mean is I’m gonna show you a huge jumble. Maybe some day I’ll be able to take a picture that says, Look at this, like I did with my coat, but until then, it’s jumbles. Speaking of my coat, did you notice in the Old Blog at the top that I talk about making a sweater….the coat.
I took a picture of the big group of boys behaving themselves at feeding time. Love my boys.
Shout out to the Ukraine and Malaysia! I love the idea that people from around the world are reading this. And speaking of that….
Belgium, did you see the caption? Or maybe Iceland? Ok, well, signing off at Curly Locks Ranch. And P.S. Thank you all so much for reading my story, and for those of you who let me know that you were quietly reading,…. A most special Thank you to you!