GIFTS……..I AM Open to Receive…………

I’m tired of worrying whether anybody is reading my stuff. I give up. I just realized why I need to blog. It’s so I can remember. My memory isn’t as good as it used to be and I just came across some old stuff. I’m going to share it here. The point is, it’s my story. It’s not just a blog, what a horrible word, by the way, it’s my Story. My previous life and my now life. I’m learning to coexist with my past. Tonight it feels crystal clear. Crystals. Crystals have energy, frequency, power. Tonight I feel free. As I let go of the fear of snake, I shall let go of fear of failure, of not being read, of not being liked. I write for me. Read it. Don’t read it. Tell me, don’t tell me. I release this now.

And a sneeze of confirmation. Don’t get me wrong, I am still talking to You and explaining what I know. I’m just charting, for me. It’s been a real Ego eye opener for me. I’ve been analyzing, trying to distinguish if this blog is for others or if it’s for me.  I KNOW, that I want to help others, and I KNOW that I want to be heard, it’s like a war between ego and compassion. I know my kids say they’ve heard my stories a thousand times, but having them in print, maybe they will want them later in life. So, I’ve decided to put these old blog things in here backwards. Most recent first. That way, it’s closer to what you already know. My snakeness is going well. Before I even posted tonight, someone posted a snake going across the road, on Facebook. I not only ‘liked’ the photo, but I opened the photo up to look at it up close. It was black and very shiny. A pretty kind of shine. I waited on purpose to give Lovey’s bottle till after dark tonight and all went well and I wasn’t scared. I did however, take my Crook, in case the Babypups got out of hand.

Anyways, it was realizing that my memory had a story wrong that prompted this spill of words. It was the hawk carrying the bird story. I forgot a part. I mean, totally forgot, until I read it tonight. So I guess that is the one I will start with, instead of a goat one, which is actually the most recent. So here goes, an old blog. Sept. 7, 2007. Oh, and I apologize in advance this particular one is long. You’ve already heard parts, this is just more detailed, and this way, all my stuff is in one place, nice and concise. I could have sectioned it out, but I really like how hawk played through it, so here it is, in it’s lengthy length.


Sometime just before my first visit to Sedona, I had a magical dream.  I even painted one scene of it.  I was standing on a platform in space, with a door behind me.  A man with long flowing blond hair wearing a long coat took my hand and flew me through space until we rounded a corner and there, before me, were all the babies that I had miscarried.  All were very healthy and happy.  Next, we zoomed around again until we were flying low over a beautiful lagoon where at least a hundred whales and dolphins were swimming.  These were special ones.  Whales that looked like dolphins and vise versa.  Like the colors were reversed.

This was in the very early stages of my spiritual journey, and the main thing I wanted then, was to have a psychic reading.  We pulled up at one of the metaphysical shops and before I even got out of the car, I saw the man.  The man from my dream.  Of course it was obvious that he would be my psychic reader.  He said, I see babies all around you, so many babies.  One will come back in a few years.  (she did, one of the 2 living children) He described my human barometer symptoms, as well as my general situation.  Then he said, “You remind me of an old girlfriend…I once was laying next to her in the bed and I rolled towards her and she had become a ROSE.” {Rose is my Spiritual name and is part of the story I have yet to tell you, the crazy story of how I went from wanting to die to this, who you know me as now.)

Rose,…….. As above, So below Acrylic on Glass Window Sheri Lee

The next trip, we were at the airport in California, on our way, when we stopped to smoke one last cigarette before boarding the plane.  As we stood outside, a small bird landed on my head and sat there for a moment or two.  We laughed.  Upon arrival, we hired a tour guide to take us to the vortexes that I’d heard so much about.  We stopped at two, the second one being a female vortex, then to the top of the mountain, which she said was the male vortex.  She suggested we all split up to have our spiritual moments.  We did.  From my vantage point, near the edge, staring across to mountains that looked like faces, I saw a hawk.  It flew past me.  Then a small bird flew past me.  Then the hawk flew back by and the little bird jumped onto the back of the hawk and they flew away. {See, I missed this part. Puts a whole new twist to it. I only remembered the duo flying past me, together.}

We drove away and decided to stop at an Indian trading spot on the side of the road.  By then, I was feeling very ill and had a raging headache.  I knew it was from the vortexes, but didn’t know what to do about it.  My companions went on ahead of me.  As I stood there, a tree called me over.  Never had I heard a tree speak to me in my mind before, but I obeyed.  The tree said, lean on me, so I did.  The pain was drained instantly from my body.  As I was mentally saying thank you, I heard…..take three steps to the right.  So I did.  Then I heard…..take three steps to the right.  So I did.  I found myself hidden from view of the traders, but I was staring at some mountains, from a roped off edge.  A hawk flew by, very close. I thought that was my gift.  Then I see this necklace hanging on the mountain, next to where I’m standing.  I immediately grabbed it, thinking it was my gift, then felt shamed…maybe it wasn’t.  I tried to put it back.  I couldn’t.  There seemed to be no way to place the necklace back on the mountain without it falling to the bottom of the canyon.  I now believe that it was an offering to Creator, maybe the mountain…who then chose to give it to me, so I don’t feel so guilty.

I next found myself in Sedona, to work.  As an assistant to a wedding planner/minister/vortex tour guide/metaphysical readings/white medicine woman.  The job didn’t work out, but I was there for several weeks before I gave up on it completely.  One day, the boss was at a resort making some wedding arrangements and I was waiting outside.  Two children passed by and saw a butterfly.  Before I realized what they were about to do, they picked it up…”Look dad, a butterfly!”  They were holding it by the wings and thankfully dad said to put it back, which they did, and they were gone.  I walked over and saw that part of its wing was missing.  I offered my hand and it crawled on, rather than be on the tree.  I sent it reiki and tried to heal it.  It took one last breath, spread its wings completely, and died.

When the boss, L, came out, she said keep it, the way to keep it will come.  Your gifts always come in Threes.  Next day, we and another, are headed for the Hopi village, with a car behind us carrying a man with a tumor in his neck who needs a healing.  Before arriving at the village, we stopped at a trade stop.  I went to find my 2nd gift, which I knew to be a box perfect for carrying a completely opened blue butterfly.  As I walk past the beautiful items the Indians have made, I see my box.  Made of leather, this flat box, 1 inch thick, has a front flap opening, allowing the contents to be gently slid in.  On the top of the 3×5 box, is a painting of a blue butterfly.

My 2nd gift….the butterfly box

Gift number 3 is fairly subjective…was it being allowed into the “closed” dance?  Or being invited into the home of the Medicine man and his wife a Medicine woman?  Or maybe it was being handed a lump of clay as we entered and told to Create as this Medicine woman speaks her wisdom, while I form a butterfly of the clay?  Maybe it was even simpler than that, just getting to go to the village.  My butterfly box is quite full now of all kinds of insect gifts I’ve been given.

I have another story that has nothing to do with Sedona, but may explain why the butterfly chose to crawl onto my hand, instead of stay where he was.  In ’94, I was living in the country and we’d tried to rehabilitate 2 baby rabbits, but it didn’t work.  The cage was sitting in the living room empty.  A cardinal flew into the glass door and fell to the ground.  He had blood pouting out of a wound on his head.  We placed him in the cage to recover.  A little later, my friend wanted to check on it.  Against my advice, he disturbed the wild bird and it was able to fly out of the cage. It flew around the ceiling, bumping into everything and feathers were flying everywhere!  The poor thing was so scared, and we didn’t know what to do.  I raised my hand in the air with my pointer finger out……..and he landed on it.  I carried him to the door and released him.

Bad art, but you get the idea!

This is a painting I did when I first began to attempt art, at the beginning of my spiritual journey…it’s not very good, but shows that the cardinal event was momentous enough to paint it.

My next arrival in Sedona was on Sept. 10th, 2001.  On September 9th,  I loaded my belongings into my car and left my home in California to begin a new life……..somewhere, anywhere.  {I am now married to the man I was leaving}. I drove until I was 3 hours from Sedona, then I parked in a restaurant parking lot and slept a few hours.  In the morning, the 10th, I drove on into Sedona and stopped at my friend L’s house.  She was preparing for a sweat lodge that evening, and insisted I join the sweat.  I was exhausted from the drive and not really in the mood for a sweat, but sweat I did. When it was my turn to vocalize a prayer, I prayed for the leaders of the countries who hate us.  I prayed for a change in their hearts.  I remember thinking that some of the others didn’t look like they liked my prayer. {It was probably just me being self conscious}

Anyway, we all made it through the sweat and had the food ceremony afterward.  The medicine man, D, went to sleep on the couch and I slept on the floor in the office.  About 5 am, the 11th, the phone rang.  It was for D and it was an emergency, so I woke him and stepped outside to have a cigarette and watch the sunrise against the mountain backdrop.  It was quite gorgeous until I heard screaming from the house.  I ran in to see the tv on and the first tower had been hit.  There was a lot of commotion and people began arriving.  The phone was in constant use, something to do with the Chief Medicine Man of the ___.  Yes, of course I’m leaving things out….

So, two sweats in two days, this time held at another location.  It was 105 at noon in Sedona, and we went 5 rounds instead of the standard 4.  I can’t vouch for the health of the others, but I know some of us were not extremely healthy, myself having chronic pain and emphysema.  For those of you who have never experienced a sweat, it’s worse than a sauna and it lasts for hours.  I honestly never know if I’m gonna come out alive.  There was a man who couldn’t tolerate it and had to get out in the middle of the 2nd round.  That’s usually a no no, but it was a heavy duty day and they let him out but asked him to remain outside to keep his energy there.  So, we prayed for hours….for America….for the departing souls…..for the families left behind….for the planet…….for peace.  When we came out, there was a hawk circling above.

I returned to California, got married Oct. 11, 2001, and returned to Sedona for my last trip over that Thanksgiving.  While there, I had a horrible flash of a possible intuition and insisted we move away from California.  We did.  That was 5-6 years ago.  Since that time, Sedona has called, but I was in hermit mode, and it didn’t call hard enough.


Well, it’s Saturday again already.  Did the feed and grocery thing, got my strawberry banana smoothie then home to distribute the feed.

I caught HIM, He is eating Grain!!!!! Yay, I think we are officially over the hump. (Lovey)

Everything is so different. The lambies are gone, Angelica is gone, and it’s musical pens for the goats. It’s quieter without the sheep. I looked again, as I do every day, at the possibly pregnant girls and more and more, I’m thinking that the greens made them appear pregnant. I’m thinkin that the onslaught may not be an onslaught after all. I’m thinking that Dessa for sure, Lila, maybe, Choxie for sure, and the rest of the girls still out in the pasture, well, your guess is as good as mine, unless I pen them up and remove their 24/7  food source and see if their bellies go down.

This is Choxie, She changes colors from shear to shear….nice brown here. She will most likely be having twins next week. She is mom to Lily and Lila, my pretty yearlings.

It may sound like I don’t know what I’m doing, ut the thing is, my girls have always been in pens. Them being in a pasture is new for them, and me. Sure, I feel kinda dumb about it, but it’s really good news, so Yay!  My husband is really proud of his kitty, Gypsy, and he sent me a few pictures e took of her, so here is Gypsy, and one more extra photo just because it’s pretty!

Meet Gypsy, our indoor kitty.

A close up of baby curls while they are still on the goat. This goat is approaching 3 months old.

Most of the stories I tell are about gifts. Receiving gifts, The bird on the finger, the butterfly box, the talking tree who took my sickness away, the dead butterfly(these are just todays stories of gifts), all of these things are Gifts from God/Spirit. I am Open to Receive these gifts. Are you?


10 thoughts on “GIFTS……..I AM Open to Receive…………

  1. Great sharing! I think you are aware of the purpose of 9/11 and the tsunami of 2011 right? That tsunami also happened on the 11th. Metaphysics help explain so much about life that conventional science can’t. I understand quantum science will reveal more about our Convoluted Universe, in the future. 🙂

  2. I’m reading it, every day! And even if there are only 5 people reading your stories, that doesn’t mean they are not good or interesting or necessary!
    I am raised without any religion myself. I’ve never believed in God or anything else, I’ve always learned to trust only the things proven by science. But there are indeed some things that science can’t explain. For example, I do believe in the power of nature (herb medicine, dreams,..) although science can’t prove it, and I am open for everything that nature has to offer. And sometimes I also feel that things happen for a reason. But because I can’t convince myself of the presence of a God, I usually just call it ‘coincidence’. So I guess I just don’t know, do I?

    • Did you read my post called…Something told Me, if you get those too, then I think you can confirm the presence of something, eh? lol, no pun intended!

    • Did you read my post called…Something told Me, if you get those too, then I think you can confirm the presence of something, eh? lol, no pun intended!

      AND, thanks for letting me know you like the blog!!!

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