Ye know how they tell actors or singers to pick one person in the audience and sing only to them? I have picked my someone in the audience and I am talking to you. You are sad, lonely, and maybe even misunderstood. You don’t know why you are here or what your purpose is. You go about your life in a rote daze. You experience tiny fleeting moments of joy and or happiness, and yes, there is a difference between the two. Happiness is a feeling of pleasure, joy is a feeling of the heart. A quickening of the heart. You don’t find it very often, yet you try all the things everybody says to try. Or maybe you diet. And you diet and you diet, I could go on forever with this one. You make plans and they fall through. You want opposite sex companionship but cannot find that which you seek. You immerse yourself in numbing things. Wine? Gin and tonic maybe. Marijuana, how bout zanax or valium? Cigarettes, spit chaw, food,(the intake of or refusal of) bottom line……addiction.
You don’t tell others what your mind does to you, they would think you were insane. They might leave you. Do you cut yourself, burn yourself, sabotage yourself, question yourself? Do you think you are unlovable and have no contribution to the world? Do you too slide down too many walls? Do you scream in your car at the top of you lungs, scream and cry? How about telling yourself that you are no good. How many times a day do you hear the voice in your head say, that was stupid or you dumbass.? Ya, I put a period and a question mark, they both apply. Do you refrain from doing things you want to do because you’re afraid you’ll fail? Do you dress in non-descript clothes and try to blend in? Hold back your opinion because you think you’re unworthy? Do you think you’re unworthy? Do ya just want the pain to stop?
I hear ya. I am you and you are me. I was all of those things. WAS, being the operative word. Until tonight, I wished and dreamed and apparently created the answer to the question of, if God/Spirit gave me an event that retripped, recalibrated my mind, then how can I ever tell anyone how to get to where I am. And believe you me, I AM. Until tonight, I thought all I could offer was insights and wisdom learned. And I shall still do that, because otherwise what was I for? What was my misery for? What’s it all about, Alfie? Sorry, couldn’t help myself from making that song reference. I have much to offer. Ask me things. I may have already been there and done that for you so that you don’t have to. Tell me what you need.
Anyways, here’s what I just realized. Well, two things actually. First, I can attempt myself or ask you to assist me in asking for each and every YOU, in the audience, to receive a blessing such as I received. Not in the same way exactly, wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but to receive the mind trip, the recalibration. Ask for it. It is your birthright. And the second thing I realized is that even if you don’t receive that, should I fail in my attempts or fail in my attempts at getting YOU to make the request, of God…or Spirit…or Mother Earth…or just plain Life, for the rewiring of your mind, then it is still ok. I received the rewiring. And I can tell you what I did from there. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? Many years back, that statement would have been left alone, to stand on it’s own, but now, with my new found wisdom, it shall be followed up with… I didn’t think of that earlier because I wasn’t supposed to. It wasn’t the Perfect moment in time, as is now. Now is when the answer came. Now is also the answer.
Ok, here is your homework. The very first thing I did after my event, and I will go ahead and tell you about the event. Just not tonight. As in the same way I just explained that now was the perfect moment for this, I can tell you that now is not the moment for that. So, the homework is for step #1, ….see the yellow flowers. Notice yellow flowers. That’s it. Very simple. Hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day people.
You see, I was in a box. A box full of rules and regulations and shoulds and shouldn’ts and coulds and couldn’t s. See, those words right there are me breaking out of the box. I’m always breaking out of the box, it’s so much fun. The computer didn’t want me to say shouldn’ts. It kept removing the s at the end and I had to trick it, go outside the box, go around, choose another path, go the other way. The world dictates what is normal, what to believe, what to do, how to be successful, what to do as a mom, as a woman, a man, a child. How to be, how to dress, how to act, what to say, like, I mean, like did you hear that, like it was the best most rad thing, like, didn’t you like think so? What to think, how to think. How many people are in mental hospitals because they hear voices of Angels or hear peoples thoughts, otherwise known as telepathy.? See what I mean about that question mark and period both? I even write out of the box. My questions sometimes end up as statements. Remind me to tell you about my 2006 Winter Solstice Experience, and the box. So, for you, to break out of the box, look for Yellow Flowers.
And all the while, I shall tell you about my new life with my furry curly haired angora goats who produce mohair, and thusly should be called…mohair goats. I mean seriously, angora rabbits produce Angora. Angora goats produce Mohair. And let’s not forget my 2 horses and the mule, Murphy Jose. I named him Murphy when he was given to us and my friend George said he was Mexican and he wanted a Mexican name so she named him Jose. I call him Murphy Jose. Then there’s my husbands cows. We still haven’t eaten a single one. We traded something for BabyCow, so he could be butchered but he gets older and older. We also haven’t eaten a single home grown chicken. Crazy, I know. We do eat the eggs though. The myriad of birds; the outside kitty, Liberty, who is all that’s left. Gypsy lives inside but all my other cats have either died or been taken off by critters. I did a painting of our 5 cats for my husband, only one is still alive, that’s our mouser/gopher, Liberty, whose full name is, are you ready for this?… Liberty, little bit of liberty, not a lot, just a Little.
We also have the peacocks, Bert and Ernie, the geese Lucy and Desi and their parents or grandparents were Larry, Curly and Mo. The pups, of course, but I HAVE to tell you that I tried to sell Geiser the other day due to the constant challenging. I’ll figure it out somehow. How? I’ll ask for it. I’ll ask God, or the Universe, whatever word you want, the ethers? Consciousness? The grid? For me personally, there were too many names available, and as a person with way too many legal names and way too many nicknames or spiritual names, I asked one day what I was to call him. He said, FATHER. So, Father it is. Oops, forgot my Blue. Can’t forget my blue dog, my Aussie, my friend.
Today is a holiday so my husband is home. When I went out to shear, I was greeted by Lovey! Andy had let him and Gandhi out, so we had a little helper while we sheared. When he got a bit too involved, Andy came and lured him over to where Gandhi and the rest of the Beautifuls were grazing and he was a goat again today. Longer, way longer than last time, so it’s lookin up. When he lost them and ran around crying like a lost puppy, I did the goat sound and he came running. Cathy oohed and ahhed over Levi’s fleece as we sheared the nearly statue like goat. He stood still as could be for an hour and a half. When I’d had the goat expert come, Lisa, to do the overgrown hooves, we somehow missed one. He stood well for that too and I was brave and cut and cut and cut. No blood and he’s nearly perfect footed now. Yay for me! Since he also didn’t have mites, I put him the main pasture. That means that of the 13 left to shear, 5 will be yukky mite fleeces and 5 big boy stinky pee soaked fleeces. My whole body aches from the fall and shearing doesn’t help. No rest for the weary on a farm.
All through the day, I either walk around outside or open the door and listen. Listen for sounds of moaning and groaning. I wish we could have a live feed at birthing time. It’s so cool.
Tonight the little girls didn’t know what to do with so much space and no one to wham them. They were all eating out of one trough. I interfered and in the end, there was still one lone goat at a trough and the rest all crowded together. Stubborn goats. Just like their Mama. And this Mama is very tired. Ok, so, for some of you,(whoever needs it) don’t forget to look for the yellow flowers. Signing off at Curly Locks Ranch. P.S. I’m getting new flags! Got France last night! Bon Nuit! Ooh, and Portugal and Norway!