Guess I’ll start this blog with the elephant in the room. I have been sufficiently shamed into going to look for the missing goats. Love ya dear! I guess Jesse and I can take the Zen buggy in some places maybe…it’s got to be a soggy mess out there…..cuz it is here. Hubby told me where he put the hay out for them, so I know a direction. I would never have guessed there….cuz I always see them go the other way. This is not something I’m comfortable doing. What if the buggy breaks down or gets stuck…..both of which have happened…..but we didn’t have this many large animals then and I was plenty terrified. Now we have bunches….well, to me. Anyway…..we shall check it out. Not much of my land is drivable, and the mud….jeesh……I’ll just let it transpire as it’s meant to transpire, without all this projection into it. Sounds like a plan. It’s still raining….supposed to rain all night…..and here comes the thunder.
Do you realize how many scenarios are playing out right this second? If there are 7 billion people…..then there are 7 billion scenarios. 7 billion tiny movies…..where other movies weave in and out and around and down….all of the movies are connected, because this person knows that person who knows that person who knows that person……and on and on until we are down to 1 movie…..one human…..and back on out to 7 billion. And none of these scenarios are simple. They are all deeply complicated and ye have to give awesome credits to the director, producer, and author of these 7 billion movies. Deep minds created what’s going on here. The complexity is so extreme and so beautiful. I’m in awe of the talent that could orchestrate the humans on this planet, and this planet….in the ways that it does. I realize that this places me at odds with myself. To believe that every single thing is predestined like a written script……versus…….to believe that thoughts and words create. I guess I need to admit that I have been torn between the two for some time……therefore…..I believe them both…..it’s the only way to deal. Ye know….they say there is another dimension for every possible thing that you could have done differently, every different choice….wow…that puts the scenarios in the gazillions.
Man is it raining. Just saw a weather alert that it will be 3 inches…already knew that. Must mean that’s a lot. LOL We sometimes get flooded and trapped here. No biggie, it usually fixes by the next day or so. We have a new bridge, tiny, but I don’t remember if it’s flooded since it got built. Sometimes we can get out the back way……the very long way.
So…..I decided to be active about the Justin Bieber thing. I LIKED his page…then said my piece. I’ts already gotten 5 LIKEs, which means to me, either someone who CUTS or someone who has known someone who cuts. I was short and to the point. Actually, here is exactly what I said: Dude…..might wanna do something about the girls CUTTING….I draw butterflies on my wrist in support of them…don’t kill the butterfly..The Butterfly Project…..don’t know who started it but I’m keeping it going. These kids believe in you….please help stop them from harming themselves over something so silly as you smoking a joint. Sincerely, MamaSheri
And that’s how we maybe get things done, eh? Who knows if he will do anything about it, but he’s the only one who can. He’s got to address them specifically. OUT LOUD. Cutters!!! Nip this damn thing in the bud. Night night. (hmmm, oh well, it was worth a try…nothing)
I keep delving and delving into what is obviously my homework right now, in the school of life. My fears. They still come down to living, dying and pain. The living part…..well, apparently I used the end of 2012 as my marker for life. I was so thrilled that I’d made it. That not only did I make it, but the extent of overwhelming joy I was experiencing was beyond my wildest dreams. Here’s the rub. Now that my cutoff date has come and gone….hmmm, it’s as if I know that I was given these 13 years of joy…….but that I wasn’t promised any after that. That’s my fear. I’m afraid of the sadness coming back. I’m afraid that I really am the failure I knw I was, but I somehow was allowed to rise above for a short time. I’m afraid of losing the GOOD. The happy. I feel like I’ve lost my mustard seed. Don’t worry…..I will find it again. Haha, I have faith! Lol silly Sheri.
Well, it is still raining. We are officially sog. I rarely remember my dreams, but I dreamed that I saw Aramis and Damey and they were fine. Unfortunately it’ll have to do to have the dream cuz there’s no way we could drive the buggy in this mess and it would take hours to cover just parts of the land on foot. I guess the creek didn’t flood last night. It’s been raining all day though, hope hubby can get home tonight.
There’s a shaman lady my daughter knows, whom I’ve had a reading with….well, Summer paid for it as a gift to me. Thaat was awhile ago, anyway, this shaman lady was just with the Mayan Elders, during the solstice. I need to quote her……..: “Many reminders today that it really is all a story that we choose to write. What we receive, perceive, create, experience… it all comes from within. Our world will be exactly what we choose to see, with our filters and our projections.
And everything I just typed is a story too. Me telling you that it’s a story is a story. It’s all a story, so what kind of story are we choosing to write?” So, I need to …. reconcile….we write the story……and the story was already written. See, perfect timing, as always. So, if I’m writing the story…then I’m writing in the fear. Time to edit. Here is a P.S to that story. She answered my question this way: “I don’t reconcile, I let it be both. Living the mystery and the inbetween where nothing is real so everything is possible”. Funny, when I had that phone session with her she said I was a shaman too. Always the student…..sometimes the teacher…that’s me!
Wow, can I edit out the rain too? And the missing goats have found their way back into the herd….and all of my goats are perfectly healthy and have beautiful desirable fleeces and all the babies are to be born effortlessly and without drama and I can knit and crochet anything I want with as much speed as I want and of course, I can create things with my new felt loom. And in my story, nobody feels pain, they only feel joy and it wouldn’t become boring. Oh, and also….everybody, no matter how big or small, gets to have Love, lots and lots of love. SRB smiling really big. Is that the sun trying to come through the clouds???? Oh my goodness, I think it is!!! I think I have a feeding opportunity here!!! Be right back! Yup…..got it done. Didn’t see a single BigBoy, didn’t figure I would, they stay in the woods when its rainy since they have no cover. Hubby thinks they are fine, just staying to themselves. I guess he would know more about them than I do…well, cept my Muchkins, but they pretty much have to follow, cuz they be young. No play today…it was strictly business, feed, snap photos and go…..just in case…so they can get some food in their bellies if the rains start up again….but since this is my story….nah, we got enough for the next 1,000 moments, at least. And I guess I’d better go now. Thank goodness for cool weather that puts out fires, and wet weather that puts out droughts. Grateful. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.