lol….its a fundraiser

Once upon a time….at a different lifetime phase…well, many different lifetime phases…I would have been mortified to ask for money. To beg. Beg. Sounds bad. To request assistance. I’ve just been pondering it and how it is that I can do it now. I think the main contributor to this new ability to ask…..is hubby. Hubby and I have a marriage of convenience….which btw, aren’t really all that convenient. Anyway….hubby earns the money and our entire married life…..has seen me….asking him….for EVERYTHING. Everything I needed…down to the tiniest things….I had to ask. Then one day…I didn’t ask. I just spent the money. Hmmm. Upset but not screaming. I continued to push this limit until we are where we are now. Which is: hubby says we are broke due to my animals. He says he doesn’t make enough money to pay all the bills. Oh…crap. I’ve digressed. Ok…so…..I learned how to ask for money by asking my hubby for everything I needed over the past 14 years. It was in the last year that I began to spend without asking and apparently I went too far recently. Hubby threw a major fit and said there wasn’t enough money now for rent. So. This came right after I had my bad diagnosis and I needed money. Well, I asked for money to go see Amma….that wasn’t so bad. And I’ve been talking about Summer making a fundraiser, but she finally did it tonight and hehe…it made me turn really red. Embarrassment to the core!!!! But ye know what? Why? Why do I find it easy to help others but not myself? Well, not this time. This is life and death. I feel like I’m really making a difference here. I’m really helping this illness and curing it. I’ll get the liver numbers soon to prove it. And its not my fault that insurance doesn’t cover Alternative treatments. Insurance does however, cover my inhaler. WHICH…..I barely have to use now. YES…….MY LUNGS ARE HEALING…because I quit!!!!! I’ve made a gazillion life changes to save my life…and they are paying off! No wheezing! I can take it before bed…….then head out the next day forgetting to take it with me….then remembering…..when it’s too late…..and NOT panicking! Hehehe! Basically I only use it now before bed….and that’s more outta a desire to sleep than a wheeze. Can you believe it? I did that! I healed my lungs! Well, not healed, they don’t feel 100%, that’s for sure, but they are healing and are very much easier to breathe with. Oh man…..its late. Sleeptime. 3:57am = 6 = earth. Night night earth people. Ps….the angel pancakes were awesome…..and the turkey bacon is strange but I suppose if one really needed meat….it would do to sorta taste like bacon. So there….my official review of turkey bacon. Night.
I was just thinking about this money thing. This worth thing. As a child, I was not told “I LOVE YOU”. I was not hugged. I was married to a man who beat me and cheated on me. Do you see how I put things in neat little packages? Very little detail. Just fact. I learned that one while getting ready to be my own attorney for my divorce from the scoundrel. LOL….what an old word. I had to take stories that took months or incidents of hell that took hours…..and make them all……a few sentences each. Yikes. Not easy, lemme tell ya. Haha…I digressed again. Anyway….I think the worth issue was pretty much gonna be a given, eh????? Bottom line….they were wrong. I am worth it. I am worth everything and anything…just like you. Ok….night.
Ha….there are not enough hours today! I painted, while Summer worked on a website. Apparently she made an executive decision and chose a different website provider…., hmmm. We also made a video for the fundraiser site. Ha…that was fun! Actually, it was. Maybe I shoulda been a movie star??? LOL. Then it took hours to try to get around a silly Youtube sign in glitch. I’ve had the glitch forever but it really ran us ragged today. Think it might be uploading though, which would be a welcome success. Hey…y’all remember seeing that photo traveling FB of the mama bear and her 4, ya, 4 cubs??? Well, ya. I had to try. It’s just a small painting, so we’ll see….but after laying out the background, I took it in to Summer and said…what is it? She said….3 bears. Yay! Well, it’s 5, but not in the layout perspective!!!
So…..I forgot to say in the video that I looked like death warmed over a few weeks ago. Y’all go see it….and you’ll see how much better I look! These med methods are working, I tell you! Don’t I look healthy? Well, I’m not. Not yet. But I will be! Y’all are hanging in there with me and I appreciate it. Hehe….I’m still not pooping any silver beebee’s or anything yet so all is good! Lol. I was freaking that the colloidal silver was almost gone already and need to order more quick….but it turns out….there are 3 bottles! 40 drops today…50 drops tomorrow then back down to the 30 for the rest of the protocol.
Ha….hubby just bought…ecofriendly wasp spray. LOL…..he says……it doesn’t kill them right away AND…..it doesn’t spray far enough. So, we have tiny wasps flying everywhere right now. Not all eco stuff is wonderful. Ok….we finally got the video to upload. What a fiasco that was. So now, y’all get to see me! I’m gonna go plunk it on the fundraiser site. We had an $11 donation last night. Yay!!! Ya, we had a few others, but just wanted to let ya know that any amount helps. I got a kick out of it. Not 10, but 11 dollars. How sweet. Ok….well……I guess I’ll go see if I can grab a photo or two. The phone was busy doing the video upload thing. Hmmm, or not. There may or may not be photos today. Either way….I am signing off at YeeHaw Ranch. http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-mamasheri-heal/224916 .

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painting like crazy……

Goodness…just watched a show called….Hanger One….UFO files or something like that. Kinda spooky. They were talking about the different presidents and their UFO sightings. In the end…it was decided that the Presidents probably have all these childhood ideas of how they want to change the world when they become President…then they get into place…get their briefing and….thats it. Game over. They said that after Jimmy Carter was briefed about UFO’s….he hung his head and balled like a baby. Now that is not good news. I’ve often thought that exact scenario…except…in mine…it’s the briefing about who controls what on the planet and why he and every president must do certain things.
Well, we were actually gonna shear today. Yes, shearing must happen before anybody is sold…….cuz this is my last chance at their fleeces for my art. We were. Then I decided no, we wouldn’t. Then I said…oh but why can’t we? Why can’t we shear today and boom! Rain and thunder that second!!! That decided that now didn’t it??? Course if I had any gumption at all….I would shear them and plunk them straight into the wash water. But no…I seem to have no oomf whatsoever. Oh wait…can’t say that…I’m still painting, thank GOD. Just got done feeding the girls and ya…they were plenty wet.
I finished off the last of Summers birthday cake last night and tonight is Angel Pancake night. She bought me my own bag!!!! Yay! Oh…..and….found out they are not ten bucks…only 6 bucks. Seriously folks….they are that good. Summer says they don’t even need syrup….but ya….I will be adding syrup. Lol…you can bet on that. I may be trying to extend my life….hehe, but I’m really very human and I do love my sugar. Ok…maybe I’m more Poohbear than human. I’ll accept that. Its funny…..I eat a salad and then I’m like….HA!!!! there!!!! Healthy food down the hatch…now where’s the food???????
My guest is not coming after all. She has decided that she wants to finish building her little house before winter and will need the extra weekend to do it. So…I’ll mail her the totem painting. I really like how it turned out. My favorite part is the center….the underwater scene with the turtle. Just love it. Bummer though that Barb is not coming now. She woulda had to stay at one of the local hotels but shoot…there’s several to choose from in each of the nearby towns. But since I’ve finished the totem painting, I’ve been having fun just painting. Did a hummingbird and an owl and a few more that I’ve already shown. Wanting to do 2 different paintings at the same time…ha……maybe I’ll start em both……and juggle them! LOL….why not? I’ve been having such fun reaching into the new bags of colored locks to find…just what I need. Found just the right shade of dark purple for the hummingbird from yesterday. Love new colors. It’s funny. Finally have Summer realizing that she can paint during the day…BUT…we are still staying up too late. We do indeed have our own kinds of art. I taught her my art…..and she then took what she learned and made it hers. Her art is so different than mine. Ha…even back when she was copying me……she still did it so different. Her thing lately and for awhile has been trees. Haha…right now she has no clue what she will paint….she’s just building a background…..then saying….what do you see? LOL. I helped her see a turtle!!! Ha….and now shes tossing me colors and saying…quick! Hehe, that’s one way to figure out what you’re painting will be of!!!
I bought turkey bacon. Rather afraid to try it. Ha. Or lazy….not sure which. Could it possibly taste like bacon? I know….I’ll cook it as a blog thing. I’ll tell ya how it is! It sure looks funny, I can start there. Ya, I’m getting excited. It’s nearing dinnertime. How crazy. My new happiness and joy in life is food. Pancakes. I’m excited over pancakes. Once upon a time….bisquick or pancake mix boxes sat in the pantry at any given moment. But now…no GMO stuff allowed. No bisquick. Only Angels allowed here!!! Ok….signing off at YeeHaw Ranch!

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a MamaSheri Avenue???

Summer says she doesn’t think I’m dying anymore. She thinks the diet changes and the meds have affected it to the point that perhaps the HepC is sleeping again. I don’t have quite that much faith. Why? Cuz I live in the body. Ya, I think there’s improvement but I can’t say it’s sleeping. Still too many digestion issues. At some point I’ll go have blood tests done to see where we are at. The newest meds started yesterday, 3 times a day and I’ll go ahead and tell ya what it is. Silver. Haha…no, I’m not gonna turn blue. It’s way newer and fancier than that. Colloidal Silver. I have tiny Dixie cups and I pour a bit of distilled water, then the silver, then chlorophyll. Ya, the plant kind! It is stored in the fridge. See, I told ya these remedies were not traditional. It doesn’t taste great but it’s just tiny and you swig it like a shot. I will be on this for 30 days, 3 times a day…..along with many others. There’s only one more med left to start. I wanted to receive it thru IV….works better that way, but it’s not covered by insurance. It’s about $700 to start and around $2-300 a visit. I’d have to raise that somehow. Plus…..I’m back to 3 times a day on the scary one…the one that somewhat removes your brain. I’m told it’s temporary. Hell….let’s hope. Now that I’m back on it 3 times a day, now I have to up the dosage as time goes on. So….I’m giving you fair warning. I may either make no sense here….or I may make no sense so much that I take a temporary break from blogging till my brain is back. We’ll see.
Summer and I are on a painting roll. Yay! That’s a good thing. It’s still a frustrating thing for me that it’s my passion and yet I haven’t been able to find an avenue to sell them. Surely there is a street/avenue that is just right, that is perfect and they look beautiful hanging there while the people look and buy. Like a tiny little street in grand Paris. LOL. Ya, I’m into visualizing these days. In fact, I find myself being like George…creating stories in fun while talking. Like…out of the blue just spinnin a yarn….lol. It’s an interesting new phase in my life. Phase, portion, section, segment. Haha….segment made me think of a worm. Cut his tail off and he grows more. Many segments. In fact, yes, many segments right now. I used to notice them in like 8 month intervals. Now they are increasing to weeks. In just weeks, I am in a new phase. Enough to give a girl mindlash!!!
Hubby just showed up with the Austin white feed and we got em all unloaded. THEN……..!!!!! The painted fiber arrived…lol, DYED…….by Monica. Monica at Just Ducky Hand Spun has finished up and sent my package. I received 40 colors today!!! Colors on my very own mohair. Maya….these colors are Maya. She did a wonderful job dying the fiber and yes, it took longer than I would have liked but hey…life happens. Happened here too!!! But ya…40 one ounce bags of individual colors. Yay oh yay and boy did we need them! I was needing some dark purple and it came just in time. I love that they are my own goats too! Oh….and I do a lot of painting with dyed silk hankies. If any of you have a great price on that or just wanna contribute…ya, I’m here! Holler at me. Wow…I’m outta time. Guess that’s it. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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….our first NEW birthday

If I were to do this human thing right….I would start over. I would start naked….and go from there. I would think very carefully before adding animals. Each animal added to my world, requires a portion of my energy. Too many animals, and not enough portions of energy given…mean unhappy, sad faces. Ya…..I have too many sad faces. Too much energy spread out. I’m actually trying to break away from the goats entirely and my daughter is fussing at me. She likes the goats. Well, ya, so do I….but my illness has changed me. There are just too many for me at this phase in my life. I want them all gone, or nearly all. She wants to keep 10 or so. I haven’t decided yet, but whatever happens…..it needs to happen soon. I’m just mentally at the place of…..they are going…..then I want them gone. It’s too hard loving them and knowing they gotta go. They just need to go. It’s too sad.
Today was Summers birthday and I did my best to make it a good one without much money. I did the….paper I owe you things, and got her a skyswing chair. Yay…..and her own pair of tiny scissors…her favorite present. A few tiny other things, all very inexpensive but she appeared to genuinely love the birthday. I’ll try to continue the celebration a few more days, ya baby! How? Dunno!!! Ahhh, well…something. Ok…night night. 3:20am=5=change!!! Later!
YAY!!! Skychair is up….in the tree next to the tiny trailer Summer is using and it is PERFECT. Absolutely perfect. Ya push off and start to swing and every so often, it begins to spin…the tiny twirl that sends you around and then back around….it’s just the most calm and soothing feeling. Maybe people with babies should get some. If there was a way…I’d have em in the house! I highly recommend them. Skychair. We paid around 50 bucks for this one but they have em in a large price range, and I highly recommend them. Just strung it up with regular rope and wala….fun and calm at the same time. See, you can just do the calm thing ifn ya want to….or…..you can spin it or twirl it or swing it like a swing or just sit there with your feet down and twist yourself in it. Just a hoot man. Love it. Happy Birthday to me and the Girl!!! The cake was lovely. Hehe…we called it a Pooh cake. It stuck to the pans, so it came out in portions scooped out and piled on…that was the cake. Hehe. Then cream cheese icing…I did say it was carrotcake, right? So, the icing, then pile more clumps on, then more icing. Ya…a pooh cake. Yummy too. Whoda thunk carrots would make a good cake? Wonder if she’s sharing another piece? Hehe, she already has to put a piece aside for Cathy! LOL….I have cookie makings.
Finished up a few paintings that have been seconds away from done, how crazy is that? Why would anyone stop work on a painting just before its done? Began a hummingbird today too. They’re usually pretty fun to paint. Still havin the itch to try oil painting again. Or acrylic. Most of these latest ones are smaller. To offer at a lower price. Haha, goofyness cuz they take about as long. Oh well. Ya do what ya gotta do to try to make a sale. Speaking of that. At Blogtalk on Thursday, Namaste Farms….the topic went to pricing. It was said in the chatroom…..You get what you pay for. Hmmm. That is not always true people. Yes, maybe it’s the majority…but don’t forget….there are indeed minorities out there as well. Sometimes the people are shy or have low self esteem or have an emergency….there are many reasons why people sell and why they sell at certain prices. Just be aware and dig around a bit.
Medicines. Ugggh!!! They are filling up my day. Getting old!!! Got hubby to agree to buy one of the meds!!! Yay!!! One, though, when 2 are needed….at $125. Explained to him that I have been taking meds and paying for them….thousands of dollars worth….paying either with painting sales…or begging for money. No reaction. Uggh. Told him I had 90 in the bank and was about to have to pay something over 60 and he said….I thought you said you had 324 in the bank!. See, he remembers what I say. Ya dude…I did have that in the bank until Summer paid for the latest 3 medicines!!! So basically….I’m down to $30, so if anyone wants to contribute to the meds issue….my paypal is sherilee@wildblue.net. Cool. So….about the goats…we had that discussion again today. She wants 14 or so, I want 0 to 4. We now have opposing desires. I wanna have freedom….whether I get to live or if I need to do bucketlist stuff. Can’t have freedom when you have 50 goats. (or so) Ya. It’s a dilemma…..and hey…I still would love to see these all go to 1 or 2 buyers…wouldn’t that be ideal??? Lets manifest it!!! So, the bottom line of the new way to do birthdays at Mama’s house is……I think it was a success. More money would have been awesome, but she appeared fairly happy. Oh ya….freaky thing…..someone tried to become Natalie yesterday! Whoever it was, they just brazenly stole her photos and info and were going around collecting all of Natalies friends!!! I was in town and couldnt Report it, so waited till I got to the house. By then, someone or many someones had beat me to it…..but not before the IMPOSTER had accumulated quite a few friends. So….be careful when accepting Friend Requests from someone you should already be friends with. Before you do ANYTHING….go see if your friend is still on your list…if so…message her!!! Ok folks…gonna go now. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch….got the munchies!!!

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for some….LIFE is too hard

Staying alive is such an achievement. For people like me who are born with a sad brain…every day is the Holy Grail. Everyday, we do the impossible, pull off a miracle. Every day, we listen to what our brain has to say….incessantly, mind you, and if we are still breathing when our head hits either the pillow or the dirt….then we should be given an award. Lifetime Achievement Awards. I remember once writing to Oprah. I ihad a suggestion. I said, hey, there’s an awful lot of people in the world who are sad and think they have no worth. How about if you made a day….an Appreciation Day. I volunteered my birthday, Aug 6, as a common date where we could celebrate the people in our life….who matter to us. What I told her was that if people were told……you know, the way people do at an intervention…or heck…at a funeral. But my point was…why make people wait to hear that? Why wait till we are dead to tell us how much we mean to you? I am speaking not really for the regular happy people out there, but more for the ones who are quiet, reserved, troubled. Or shoot…jealous, envious, impatient…nevermind…just all people we care about. If you wait till the funeral…we never do hear it, do we????? Hmmm? Do we now? Why? WHO THE HECK thought of this plan? Personally, I think we do birthdays all wrong, at least in the US….not sure about other countries methods. But here…in America, I think we should 1. Find out what special meal they want on their day. 2. Find out what they might be wanting or what would excite them? 3. Make the birthday last all day and even into the week. 4. Tell the birthday person why you’re happy they were born and the things about them that are so special. 5. Make the day…truly…their day. So there. 5 rules for a birthday…..just carry that over. Don’t have to make it a certain day….just upgrade birthdays and its covered! That’s my theory and I’m stickin to it.
I can say this because I happen to know that in a 60 minute period, I can be thinking I want to die, get me out…..oh, say, 4-6 times……and I can be thinking I want to do more of this or that!!! Ya, same brain. Same hour, same day….same life….same confusion. Same crap. Grateful. Oh….we who are suicidal…oh yes, we are grateful. We are grateful, now just get this shit over with already! Ha…same brain, : we are so grateful and we just want more, more lessons, more joy, more ways to learn, to teach, to share. Ya….same brain. Same ache of oh man, I’m so messed up. If I….make it to the next day…I have completed a miracle. If Robin Williams made it to the next day…he too make a miracle. So….he made miracles nearly every day of his life….by the hard edged point of remaining alive…………..yet, it was not recognized. All they saw was the one day he didn’t perform the miracle. Now me….I’m different, cuz I’ve already come outta the suicide dome…….but the roof still hovers over me….follows me….like the little cloud of rain. I have made it past that red line……..not everybody can. Actually…God put me past the red line. I am special. Maybe its to be here to tell you that there even is a red line. Or maybe I’m still here to tell you to do birthdays a new way. I dunno why I’m here. But. I AM.
I must say however….that I have heard the word suicide more in the past 6 months than probably my whole life put together. I’ve heard my kids say it….I’ve heard myself say it. Life seems to be harder than usual right now I’m thinkin. Before when I heard the word I got angry. Don’t you dare think that. And now…now that Robin, ya…he’s dead now so we can casually call the fallen megolythic IDOL, by his name. Robin. Robin. Robin. Now that Robin has done what he’s done…..it feels like he has changed the game. A big game changer. I hope I’m wrong. It feels like…..it’s been prettified now. Like it may have lost some of the negative stigma. Like…we may see more of it in the coming days. On the other hand…..if I were a conspiracy theorist I would say it was a perfect plan to remove a bunch of the population, make it look like a well loved star committed suicide and you will have a bunch of pied piper responses. Just sayin. I guess the bottom line of what I’m sayin is that for people like us….each day of staying alive….makes us heros. We have survived. I call it survive because it can truly be….glory one minute and hell the next. So, yay Robin…I celebrate you and all the DAYS you survived. I salute you. I also salute me.
So. It’s a new day. I haven’t been very creative with it. Was caught off guard when I woke to see hubby here. Took Jesse to do some work and that’s the day. Cathy came over and hubby’s just sitting around and it’s a slow day. Summer’s birthday is Saturday so I’m trying to get my ducks in a row. Ran to town for some carrots for carrotcake. Guess that’s it for today. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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wait…..don’t tear it up!!!

Been working on this tiger painting and I just said….uggh, I’m about 2 seconds from tearing this thing up! Summer grinned and said my exact thoughts….ya, that means you’re almost there!!! That is generally how it goes. When you want to tear it to shreds, it’s nearly ready!!! It’s very hot outside and the poor goats don’t quite know what to do with themselves. With alpacas you can hose their bellies to cool them off but not supposed to hose the goats.
I have so much on my mind…and I have the memory issue. But a lot of it is just….being human and being quiet or nice or respectful….whatever reasons we have for doing or not doing or saying or not saying things. That. I have a lot of that. I’m trying to learn from a video. I placed it on my FB page so I’d have access to it, and I play it over and over but not enough yet. Still not sunk in enough, so I will be playing it some more. I’m hungry. My first voice said…it’s not time yet. My second voice said…its your life. Live it. Eat if you want. Haha. There ya go, a part of one of my new philosophies that I have now remembered to tell you!!! Yay! I change daily. How bout you? Someone said something on my FB page today that took me by such surprise. She, Alana, posted: Hugging you lightly…you are in my heart throughout the day, what a treasure I get to hold. WOW. It never occurred to me that people think of me, the way I think about them. It never occurred to me that I was simply on someones mind. Ever really.
I still wanna go somewhere. Not sure how to rig that one. One day maybe. Obviously it’s on my mind though. I tried to meditate today…..two seconds later, Jesse woke up. Not his fault, but I have avoided meditating for so many years that I kinda need no sounds to even think about going nowhere with my thinking. I actually was gonna try today!!! It’s usually the animals. Like Smooch. She has finished her antibiotics and is still very stuffed up and makes the loudest ungodliest sounds. She just wants to be close to Mama all curled up. I just wanna paint or whatever and I keep having to put her off…then I get back and up she climbs and we do this over and over.
I guess I got the food thing under control. Now, I’ll just eat what I decide to eat and it should be ok unless the liver gets worse. Now that I went through that sugar kick. Sure, still eating too much but I can regulate it a bit now. Sometimes I can tell myself no and it’s not a problem but sometimes….whoa Nellie. Time is still so speeded up. The day is done before I even have breakfast and the week is…well, I’m way behind on what week it is or is supposed to be. I just experienced a Saturday town trip and have a feeling another will be here before I think it should. I gotta get back to this painting, it’s driving me nuts. So close. Ok….signing off early at YeeHaw Ranch. Nice and short for ya. But late, ha. Oh well……here is what I wrote for you last night….lol…the whole big lot of it!: Length of time that I can speak is really tiny. For some reason even the words the thoughts inside my head only have a set amount of time for them to be said in my head. My voice has slowed and changed to a quadrant type speech. No. Not the right word. Rigid, broken. Ok. Later!!!!!

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here I AM!!!

I am writing this as fast as I can soon after waking so that I can make sense and be logical. Not that I have anything to say mind you, but y’all are expecting a blog and I haven’t been providing very many! Well, thing is…my meds are making my mind pea soup, and I can’t do much when I’ve taken them. I’ve held off for ya today. I honestly can’t do any blogging or much of anything to be honest. My memory is gone….but I’m hoping it returns when the meds are out of my system. Right now, if there’s something I need to remember and its important…..I dilute it until there is just the tiniest spark of it’s originalness….then I hold that tiny seed to remember. Rarely works but its worth a try. Haha…..also, I have no writing skills. Whoda thunk? Without memory skills, I lose my writing talent! It’s really really bad and I’ve been hinting at it but just now sane enough to sorta explain. I was just about to cancel the blog for awhile, but thinkin maybe I’ll rethink the meds instead. The dose anyway.
I can’t remember anything. Its as if there is only ½ the information and stuff there once was and even then, I can’t remember. I’m glad I’m only writing these words…so as not to give them much energy. But it’s like I think I’m supposed to be depressed about something. And, I can’t remember what to do with myself or my brain. I just sit mostly. AND…top it off…I’m still in mystical spirit learning mode. I had to turn the tv off last night. Too much input. It’s as if I need to go somewhere 100% alone. For a week or 2. ALONE. Wouldn’t that be nice. No tv, just me trying to figure out me. Meditation would play a starring role. In fact, it would be the only participant. I ponder this a lot lately, this need to be away. I wish I could explain how bad its been, but then…..I look around and the news is awful. My pitiful miseries don’t compare. I remember a day when the news reports weren’t so dang bad….back in the 70’s I guess. Bad news from just every direction!!! Don’t know who to side with so I don’t. I live in the now and live and deal with what touches me in any way. That’s the best I can do. Also, I think this business of telling someone they are dying is horrible. Maybe they should give death dates if they’re gonna bother with the death predictions. I’m working on my new sugar addiction. Getting better already. I’m a tough cookie and doesn’t take me long…lol, cookie. Already veering away from the great illustrious cookie!!! Last night all I had was cookie dough. Tonight I shall have neither. Its amazing the difference this weight makes. I can feel the fat on me. I can feel the extra inch all over me. Really quite odd.
Really wish I’d have gotten a knight in shining goat armor, but alas. Nobody wanted my whole herd. Yes, of course I am keeping some. Ok…mostly my whole herd. Either way, nobody wanted a whole herd. Real bummer man. Its still available!!! Most of a herd! I really can’t deal with them. Some days I can’t do anything. (meds…so far the health feels ok) Wow…I got half a blog written!!! And it all makes sense, whatdya know! Still haven’t worked on the tiger painting. Jeesh….passion, where are you??? It stares at me….and I see all the things that need fixed, tweaked, moved, pushed, pulled or removed. A half finished depiction of a tiger. Frozen in time until these hands pull a fiber here, push a fiber here…and wham….a sight for eyes.
Well, it’s been another day. How strange that we look at life like that. It is twenty minutes to 7 and I guess I have already written this day off as done. Guess I’ll go ahead and take some of those meds now so this blog is ending. I may not blog quite as often while I’m still on them cuz it’s a useless pointless venture. But yay, today is good. Ok. Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch.

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