3AM and I’m trying so hard to lay down but every two seconds I pop up and paint another stroke. I think I’ve finally gotten the crow painting the way I want it…ha….but I signed it an hour ago….lol. ya. Ha, then Jesse comes down, tells me what to change then goes back upstairs. I change it. Sit back, and ….hate it! Uggh, @#$$$%^$#@%&*%# as I cover a lot of what he told me to do…up…but,not all. Anyway, it speaks. Whether or not anyone but me understands what it’s saying….who knows. Haha…just popped up again! Ya. Anway….I did it. I painted on a fairly large canvas…largest for me anyway…30×40 and I don’t wanna throw it away. Musta done something right. Although…….I’m seein a few things I could fuss with. Oh ya…what I was tryin to say about the Jesse thing is that although what he asked me to do wasn’t right…it was right and necessary to end up being what I now deem right. :=)) Ok…gotta wind down. Tomorrow is Halloween and we’re supposed to close up early…oh wait…or not even come in…shoot. Can’t remember. Night night. So sleepy. Feeling a bit better mindwise. Not so unbearable. 3:30am = 6 = earth! Night Mama.
Goodness….apparently I am a …………………………..wow. Epiphany. Apparently I tell the world my…what? My thoughts. Hmmm. Should I? Dunno. In the meantime….apparently I am an extremely sensitive artist. I have to watch myself so carefully. My son comes in and looks. Oooh, I like the bird, but the owls face isn’t right. Oooh, I like the giraffes! Whatcha makin now? Ooooh, that’s great…better than that owl. WOW…..all the above were welcomed except the….better than that owl. That one phrase….nearly made me chunk the whole idea of this new artform…todays new artform. Ya…apparently I’m that bad. So….I had to be careful. Had to check myself, so that I didn’t put that on the poor innocent boy who is only trying to help his mama and trying to encourage his mama and trying to be honest with his mama. Does he want his words to be the thing that stops my art? NO. Is it fair to let that happen? NO. So, I have to catch myself, fix myself and continue on. Haha…had to continue on…it’s too much fun! I am painting tiny. Painting in miniature. I remember being so enamored with and in love with and jealous of….miniature art…in California, in a gallery/store. Ha….and I can now do it! WOW. Is that enough to fix my brain? No. Apparently when I got the news that I was dying….it switched something in my brain. Kinda like a train track. The track has been shifted back to the old track. It is a worn out, rickety and extremely dangerous track. Now…I need to flip the lever somehow….back to the new track…or even a newer track, that’s 100% love and light and a darn good track!
Lately I’ve been wondering about the blogging. Apparently blogging lost me my goat sale. On the other hand….I got to keep the goats. No money…..but I get to keep the goats. Need the goats to go. Love the goats. Anyway……if you wanna buy a goat from me….know that I tell the absolute truth. No sugar coat here. If I have lice…by god….I tell you I got lice here. Mites…yup. Cocci…..worms…well, thing is……all of these words….they are all everywhere…on every ranch. My goats came from excellent lines….complete with the bugs from each ranch. It’s not like they go to the barbershop and spa….and get a bath and get spic and span cleaned…just cuz they’re moving. Sheared and chemical’d out…..that’s about it. Every ranch has bugs….and worms. I’m just the one who talks about it. Oh well. Honesty may not get me much…..but it soothes me to know that I don’t lie. Why do you think I took an oath of honesty with myself….cuz I wanted at least one person in my life who wouldn’t lie to me. Ya….ME!
In the meantime…I’m on a precipice. Teetering.
Signing off at YeeHaw Ranch with a plate of wet paint by my knee and a stack of fiber…..well….in the fiber stack….to the right of the plate of wet paint. Happy Halloween. Hmmm…hallowed. Hallowed = sacred. Holy. Fascinating. What happened to the original thingy and who changed it to what it is now??? It surely ain’t sacred or holy. Later.